Christmas and Stuff

Ahhh Christmas is over... almost... still need to get together with a few people and do the gift exchange thing. Anyway I got lots of cool gifts and enjoyed spending some extra time with the most precious gift of all, Baby J. His first Christmas was very exciting even though most of his gifts were clothes that he needed desperately as he is growing so fast... 10 months old and wearing 18-24 month clothes.

I got another gift that is creating somewhat of a problem. My son gave me a Neopet. Now I find that I must log on every day or Catatastrophe will starve to death. Of course one doesn't log on just to feed the poor thing. One must play games, win points, find extra food, tools, win battles... heck I don't know... I'm new at this pet business. So here is Catatastrophe:



Also found a tin of Neopet cards under the Christmas tree. I played one game with Chris. I won. I think he let me just so I'd play again. Now I find out that I must invest in several more packets of playing cards so I can build a better deck in order to win next time. At $3.50 per pack, let's see... what else could I do with $3.50... buy coffee and a treat anywhere but Strbcks, rent 90% of a video at Blckbster, buy an ice cream with one mix-in, have a fast food lunch with no beverage, feed the cats fancy feast for a week ... buy a new pair of socks... etc etc ... Somehow I think I'll find a pack of those darn cards in my shopping cart everytime I go to Target now. Solution... don't go to Target. But then where will I get my Diet Coke for $3 a 12 pack?

I have overindulged in chocolate fudge, See's candies, Mars Cheese Castle pasteries, Christmas cookies, Maple Sugar candy, chips, dip, crackers, Wisconsin cheese, ice cream cake... just grazing my way through the big baskets of goodies that are around here. Tomorrow morning I must weigh in since I have not done so yet this month. Just hope I don't have to pay $10 - it's getting close. New Years Resolution - I will start counting my Weight Watcher points again.

Oh yeah, remember the tooth ordeal? Here I am with 3 temporary crowns and 2 new crowns. I don't get the other crowns until January 12th. I'm not supposed to eat hard things or chews. Therefore on January 12th, I'll have to work on the Carmel Corn, Nuts and Chews, and Chocolate covered cashews.

One more thing about the teeth. Under the Christmas tree there was a mint scented small pillow. It can be placed in the microwave to relief stuffed up noses and things like that. My pillow lives in the freezer because everytime I eat one of those sweet items, my teeth hurt like h*ll. Am I dumb or what?

Well the best part of Christmas was the fact that the entire family got together, well not all at the same time exactly, and no one suffered any permanent injuries that I know of. Peace. That's all I asked for. I got some.

where did the year go?

I've neglected this blog again. It's the holidays. Excuses, excuses.

But what I neglected most of all was turning my computer on on December 14th to see the reminder message that I needed to post a Happy Birthday (or is it Anniversary?) message. The message should have been here, a message to Wittbits. Yes, this blog is now one year (and a few days) old.

So where have I been this year? I went back through a few entries. A year ago I started this blog just because I had heard about bloggers and decided I should be one. I had no idea what I'd put in the blog; I just wanted to be a presence in this world wide web of bloggers. It turns out that I have expressed a lot of frustrations as well as joys. Somewhere in there I mentioned that this could be a sort of dumping ground at times. I had hoped that it would be entertaining as well.

There have been some dead times. Times when I just couldn't make myself sit down and run the fingers across the keys. There will be dead times in this next year too. It seems to have come to a mixture of brief inspirations and braindumps of frustrations. Well I never promised myself or anyone else that this would be anything other than a glimpse into the life of a grandma in the second half of her life.

For those of you have stuck with me, or just recently discovered me and might hang around, Thank You.

Happy Holidays to all. I must go write my Christmas cards now.

The Wreath

Okay here's a picture of the wreath Cat and I made on Sunday in honor of the Red Hat Society

Bragging

Writers Digest - December 2003 Issue - page 25 - right side column - Contributors - Yep my name is in there!!!! Ha, I've been published. I must be a writer. Well, I can write good prompts anyway.

Santa clauses

Ha - made it back here in less than a week for once... just under the wire. Trying to be good. Santa's coming.

Excuses this time... uncle in hospital... out of town visitor... babysitting... working (still trying to catch up)... the dentist again... etc etc... Santa, please give me a break.

Two hours is way too long to spend in the dentist's chair. Oh well, now I am worth the weight of gold in my back molar. Had two more teeth lopped off on the other side so eating very carefully with tender gums. It's a two week break and then I get to be worth even more in gold... and I get two more teeth lopped off. My head still aches. My jaw still hurts. I'm eating soft food... sharing it with Baby J. All I want from Santa is five gold crowns.

Have had the pleasure of Baby J's company for most of the last three days. He's such a delight. Even inspired us to put up a Christmas tree... first one in several years. His eyes glow everytime we plug in the lights. So far the cats have not felled it. Grandma's ceramic Santa is keeping an eye on them.

Tried to see Santa tonight. Arrived at 6:45. There was no line! Looked a little closer and saw sign. Seems Santa needed to take a break for 45 minutes. So we did the logical thing and went to Red Robin for dinner. Came back at 7:30. Line out halfway across the mall. One look at Baby J and we knew it would be impossible to wait it out. So...

We went shopping for shoes for Baby J. He's gonna walk any day. The clerk still insists we need those soft little leather slipper like shoes. Egaad, they cost $22.50 (I got the same thing in Canada a lot cheaper but they are red and have a white maple leave so mama don't like them... too bad, should have bought more of them). They only had three pair left in 12-18 month size so we ended up with blue shoes with fish on them. The others were too girly. Looked at the other shoes, you know the ones we wore when we learned how to walk, the stiff ankle high white leather shoes that end up getting bronzed after two weeks of wear. Those shoes now cost $49.95. Let's see, baby grows out of shoes every few weeks... no money for college fund for a while. Maybe Santa will help out here.

Of course I had to buy something for me too. They had kinky purple shoe laces. Perfect for my red Keds. Could use as tree decorations for now. Or they might dress up Santa's boots.

I found a purple peacock Christmas ornament. For now it rests in that large gaping hole I didn't notice when we first put up the tree. After Christmas, it will take permanent residence upon one of my special red hats or perhaps a new red hat that Santa might bring.

Speaking of Red Hat stuff, I went to a wreath making party Sunday. Everyone was there with their greenery, magnolias, ornaments, cute little snowmen and Santas and such. I was different. I brought my red and purple boas, wound them around a hangar (shaped into a circle of course), decorated with a ChrisMoose wearing a tiny red hat, some beads and snowflake twine. It's cool. Most of it's perfection is due to the expertise of Cat (my friend's granddaughter). I'll have to take a picture... just too lazy to go for the camera right now.

I'm yawning. The snores have started in the other room. Time to go in and start the kicking routine. He'll be out of the bed within the next 10 snorts. Did I tell you I have given him the official early american name of "Snorting Hog"? The craziest thing about it is that he goes around boasting of his new monicker. Sorry Santa, I can't be good all the time.

Another Week

Looks like this is becoming a once a week blog. Guess I'm just a failure. Can't keep up with everything.

The biggest failure this month: I didn't finish my nanowrimo novel. Only managed to write 9000 words of novel. No time for another 41000 words. Oh well. Will have to try again next year.

Thanksgiving was good. Especially good because I didn't have to cook. Just bought the turkey... well had husband buy and deliver the turkey. Stayed in bed until noon on Thanksgiving. Showed up for dinner at 4pm. My son and his girlfriend did a great job. Met girlfriends mother... like her... we got along great ... can you imagine two grown women sitting on sofa shouting "La la la la la" whenever something came up that one of them didn't care to hear - actually both of them didn't care to hear. Like minds. Scary.

Seems we actually took the Dys out of dysfunctional family for about 90% of Thanksgiving. Must be a record for us. And then the very next day.... oh never mind.

Found out today that I have a couple more blog readers. Forgot about passing out all those cards with my website address on them. Better be careful what I say in here. So far it seems I have not stepped on anyone's toes. I'm sure I'll hear about it if I do. But then again maybe not; the old cards had an old email address on them. I didn't do that on purpose, really.

One last tidbit, I heard on the radio this morning. There is scientific evidence that Santa's reindeer are all female. It is proven by the fact that male reindeer lose their antlers in early winter. Females lose theirs in the springtime. All Santa's reindeer have antlers. Also proof that females are hornier than males in winter???

Reasonable Doubt

Jury duty ate up two days of this Thanksgiving week. One day sitting around waiting for the selection of the perfect twelve. 57 people showed up for service. By the end of the first day there were 12 people in the jury box, six people in the waiting seats and a handful of people left in the chairs. So, the judge and attorneys released over twenty prospective jurors after grilling them with personal questions. This morning more were eliminated. I got the alternate juror seat. So, there I was, all day, observing the trial. By 4:45 the trial was over, and the jury sent off to the jury room. I was released with instructions to stay within 30 minutes of the courthouse and wait for a call. 30 minutes later I got the call. The jury had come to the conclusion. Guilty. I did not have to return.

My thoughts: It was 5pm on the eve before Thanksgiving. 12 jurors wanted to cook their turkeys. They wanted to go home, no delays. They took the easy way out. Someone must have said guilty and they all agreed because it was Thanksgiving. Personally I think there was reasonable doubt in this case. I would have sat in there and insisted that the "evidence" was not conclusive. So much for justice - 12 people got to go home and cook turkeys. One person will suffer the consequences of quick decisions. That's just my own personal opinion.

Enjoy your turkeys.

Sleeping in Seattle

Just found out this didn't publish while I was on vacation:

Now this is the way to go. Seattle hotel waterfront accommodation, Edgewater Hotel in Seattle Washington

Okay, we needed a vacation. We opted not to fly to the east coast and visit Big Brother with Baby J. It was just too long to be in the air. So we took the train to Seattle instead.

But the train time is longer than flying, right? Yes, but in the train we had a deluxe sleeper room. I got to share the lower berth with Baby J. Poor Eric had the claustrophobic upper berth. It was amusing to watch a 206 pound man climb the ladder up there. It was even more amusing watching him get out of there. Well, I guess you can use your imagination on that. I'll spare you the details of taking a shower in the toilet room that is half the size of a phone booth.

We did have a great 24 hours on the train. Good food, although not as good as the old railroad day dining, even linen on the table. Of course the train was late getting into Seattle. But that is to be expected when you take the rails. It's just another way of life.

So here we are at the Edgewater. A great room on the Puget Sound complete with fireplace and wireless internet. What could be better.

Yesterday we braved the "unusual" snow storm and visited my friend in Vancouver. Took almost three hours to drive there due to slippery streets and a stop at Maxwell's in Marysville for breakfast. Note: be sure to have a meal at Maxwells if you are in that area - it was the best.

We had sunshine and mild weather in Vancouver. Another unusual phenomena for this time of the year. We were blessed. We visited Kathy, took the water taxi to Granville Island, ate chocolate decadence cake to die for, shopped and got lost on the way back to Seattle. Let's see, we left Vancouver shortly after six. We arrived in Seattle near midnight. Our only stop was for gas and a quick MacDonald's hamburger. How lost were we????....

It was great to return to our luxurious room at the Edgewater. Today, we are hanging out in the room, watching the ferries go by and the side swept rain storm. Tomorrow morning we board Amtrak for a nearly 24 hour return trip, in deluxe bedroom car of course.

Baby J is having a great time but has the sniffles. We think his mommy and daddy will be very happy to see him again. While it has been a great adventure, Grandma and Grandma may take a little vacation on their own next time.

Checking out for one last sleep in Seattle at the Edgewater Hotel (not that I'm bragging or anything). But wait, I see sunshine out the window... perhaps we will be Sleepless in Seattle this afternoon!

Monday Monday

Just another Monday but...

still exhausted from Seattle trip
Still recovering from cold I caught from Baby J (aren't you glad we didn't bring germs to VA Big Brother?)

Called the dentist this morning first thing to tell them I have a cold and perhaps I shouldn't show up for the first crown preparation. Found out it is a germ friendly office and everyone there is sick anyway so that was not an excuse. Think about that next time you visit your dentist...

One crown down and four to go. Looks like it will be soft food until after the new year. On the bright side, at least it will all be done this year and paid for so we get the tax write off - yes we have enough to itemize medical expenses - yikes.

Drat I have jury duty tomorrow. Or at least I must show up. Just called, can't get out of that. Oh well another place to leave my germs.

Boss won't be happy, first I take a weeks vacation, then I take a jury duty break, then it's Thanksgiving. Actually I won't be happy - the work will still be there waiting and waiting and waiting and piling and piling and piling up. Will I be able to see my desk when I return? I'll be sure to tell the boss how grateful he should be that I didn't bring in my germs.

Off to bed with my achoo achoo achoo

The Circulating Journal is Moving Again

The Circulating Journal is on it's way to Germany!!!! I'm so excited.

Sonic toothbrush

What I learned about sonic toothbrushes in five days:

1. If you put more than a small pea sized bit of toothpaste on the brush, you will froth like a skunk with rabies.

2. If removed from mouth before it stops, husband will taunt you for the rest of your days about the time you left spatters on the mirror.

3. Laughing when gums are tickled can lead to severe choking sensations.

4. Looking in mirror while brush manipulates your gum can cause horrified gagging complex.

5. Using brush in front of cats causes their radar ears to twitch - do not get in way as they head for shelter.

6. Not to put on work or party clothes before brushing.

7. Two minutes is a long time.

And on top of all that, I must still floss?

Vacation in Wirtz?

Why would anyone want to visit Wirtz, Virginia?

There is no bad breath there

To clean up one's act (However there are no AA meetings there so must be those people have no act to clean up

To see this crazy corkscrew guy

Might see a ghost or two

Just for openers

Sludge

Or maybe you go there just To get your A$$ kicked

What I didn't find in Wirtz, Virginia is a local chapter of The Red Hat Society. Guess no one is over 50 there.

It was a long week

Something kind of bad happened everyday. BUT something kind of good must have happened every day too. Let's see.

Sunday - no pilot light, no heat - BUT I got to cuddle with Baby J most of the day because he was cold and wanted lots of lap time.
Monday - I need 5 crowns - BUT I joined the Ladies Workout Express
Tuesday - Still no heat and my portable heater blew the circuits so many times that my refrigerator broke BUT I had an excuse to pig out on Ben & Jerrys
Wednesday - Started to have reservations about that contract I sighed at LWE and now they weren't returning my phone calls - BUT my heater is back on and I have new circuit breakers (it's so nice to be a renter : )
Thursday - Had a slightly unpleasant meeting with the new owner of LWE BUT I did get the contract cancelled AND I got my new refrigerator
Friday - Could not get through the piles of work on my desk so have to work Monday BUT I did have an enjoyable dinner with my old friend/new neighbor

Good things and bad things led to one of the most stressful weeks I've had in a long time. I could continue, there was more bad, BUT none of it was anything bad enough to be life threatening or even life altering. Most of it all went away. At least I have a few good BUTs.

Thinking about the vacation I have planned for the week after next... I made no reservations. Couldn't decide what to do with the week. Gonna have to take Baby J wherever I end up going. The good thing is, that eliminates Las Vegas, Reno or any other gambing place. Won't big brother be surprised if we all knock on his door???? hmmmmmmmmmm

Meanwhile got this link at The Other Side

31.25 %

My weblog owns 31.25 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

Hot and Cold

A week ago the weather was hot. Shirt sleeve, I wanna lay out in the sun all day, hot. Saturday night it got cold. Freezing cold. I tried to turn on the furnace. Nothing. Checked the pilot light. Nothing. Got out the matches, flashlight, removed the panels (okay I supervised as hubby removed the panels. We both crawled around on opposite sides - it's a wall furnace - ancient. Needless to say there was no way the pilot light would stay on.

The biggest problem was that Baby J was visiting us. I bundled him up as best I could and spent the night getting up every few minutes to cover him up.

Sunday morning I called PG&E. Four menu options later with explanations that they were overloaded with calls and it would be necessary for me to leave my number, I punched in the numbers. I waited around for them to call back. They didn't Monday morning I went out for an appointment. They called back. Left message for me to call them back. I did. Repeat from Four menu options... I called the emergency number. "State your emergency," an authoritarian voice practically yelled in my ear.

"I can't light my pilot light." I heard the sigh and the beginning of the usual speel about this not being an emergency. Before she got two words out of her mouth I gave her an earful about having an infant in the house and not getting any sleep, etc etc. She said hold on a minute and connected me to the Four menu option sequence.

No I was really railed up and called customer service billing department. The young lady on the phone apologized and said she would transfer me to the correct department. Before I could retort I was back at the four menu options. This time I went through them and actually got put on hold - for 30 minutes. It was suggested that I buy a portable heating unit. I carefully explained to the young lady that I had already do that and it blew my circuits (which is true - more about that later). I told her about the infant and not getting any sleep. She suggested I buy him some warm pajamas and gave me an appointment for nine days later - well not really an appointment, a 8am to 9pm window of time. Okay so I take Wednesday off or beg my manager to let PG&E in. I opted for that.

The manager was outraged that PG&E wouldn't come. She asked me if I told them that I smelled gas. That always gets them out. I told her yes, but I didn't do that because I just can't stand to be that dishonest. So she agreed to have someone come out and take care of the matter.

Meanwhile I informed the manager that my circuits tripped everywhere I plugged in the ceramic heater. She said I shouldn't be using one of those in my apartment. A year ago when my circuits were tripping I was told my hair dryer was too powerful and to go out and buy a reasonable wattage hair dryer. Have you seen a hair dryer with less than 1600 watts lately? Anyway I got all the circuits tripped back and off I went to work.

Came home at noon and found the refrigerator circuit tripped. Tried to trip it back. No luck. Spent 30 minutes running back and forth between the circuit breakers and the kitchen. Returned to the office, sweat pouring down my face, in spite of it being 48 degrees outside. Exhausted, hungry, I called the manager and informed her that my refrigerator seems to be tripping the circuits and would she please try to straighten it out before my ice cream melted. Also reminded her about the furnace and that maybe I wouldn't need a refrigerator anyway.

Came home from work to find refrigerator running. An hour later the refrigerator shut down. Good excuse to polish off that carton of Ben and Jerry's double chocolate whammy, or whatever you call it. Just enough to fire me up some more. Knocked on managers door. She gave me the key to a vacant apartment with an empty fridge. I hauled 4 loads of slightly thawed Lean Cuisine and frozen vegetables up the stairs and across the landing. A new refrigerator is coming at the end of the week.

Everyone I talked to said a new refrigerator won't fix the problem. It's a simple matter of changing the breakers. I asked my boss. I asked my uncle. They all say it's the breakers. I tried to tell the manager. She insisted I need a new refrigerator. So I'm not arguing - the old one dehydrates my ice cubes anyway.

Went out this evening. Came home to nice toasty warm apartment. Hmmmmmm. Magic? Checked the fridge - still dark.

Crowns, Clubs and Computers

I made a mistake. I went to the dentist on Monday. Or maybe I should say I made a mistake and didn't go to the dentist for 2 years. Either way, the jig is up. Let's see 5 crowns at $850 each. Not to mention the pain and suffering. The dentists says, well we can take it slow. Just do one for now and we'll work it out according to the payment schedule. I ask why he doesn't just put me out and do it all at once. His response, "do you have a problem getting here?" My reply, "you don't get it, I live 3 blocks away, it's a mental thing." He gave me a rather puzzled look and told me it's not good to do all at once, something about the bite being off. So let's see, according to the payment schedule, I pay $212.50 each month and get one crown every four months. I'll be done in a mere 20 months. But then again I can get a 5% discount if I pay cash up front. Heck I'll just take him a check for $4037.50 and tell him to get it over with. But then, what if I spend all that money and then get hit by a truck or something. What a waste.

I made a second mistake. I made an appointment at the new Ladies Workout Express in town. I signed up for a three year program. But, I am not so dumb - I made them put a clause in the contract that I could opt out within 30 days for any reason. I have learned something due to my previous health club hijinks. I got a free t-shirt. The only catch is, I will now have at least new enemies since I had to leave three names and phone numbers in order to get the t-shirt.

Perhaps I made a third mistake. Computer upgrades. Never mind the details.

Three C's and I'll now be working until I'm 92. Last time I calculated, I figured I could retire at 91. Oh well. Sorry kids. No inheritance.

Where have I been for two weeks?

Here. There. Everywhere.

Work. It was the end of the quarter. Any bookkeeper would know I've been working, working and working.

Home. Babysitting when the need arises. Hey it's what I enjoy. And Baby J gets cuter and smarter every day. He did not get any Halloween candy. Just a costume.

Red Hats. See the latest here

Today:
Reading 2 Sunday papers, still not finished and it's dinner time.
Babysitting, right now he is napping - he cruises and walks with walker. He's all over the place.
Freezing the pilot light won't work on our heater. PG&E has not returned my call.
Napping. Yes I did that.
Cooking dinner... what's that?
Writing. 2850 words for Nanowrimo - will I make it to 50,000 words before the end of the month?
Now - baby is awake - see ya.

Melinda White

Last night I attended a performance at Lesher Regional Arts Center. It was an absolutely astounding concert by my friend Melinda White. Please visit her website at Music By Melinda and check out her sound bytes. Buy the CD. You will like it.

Doing Nothing

"You have to allow a certain amount of time in which you
are doing nothing in order to have things occur to you, to
let your mind think."

-- Mortimer Adler educator, and author

and so tonite I am doing nothing... signing off

Casserole Recipe - try at your own risk

My uncle gave me this recipe and insists that it is the absolute best casserole ever. Enjoy it or read my notes below.

-------------

Chicken Divan

4 chicken breasts, cooked and cubed
4 cups broccoli florets, cooked
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 tsp curry powder
4 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese

In a bowl, mix the soup, mayo, and curry and set aside.
Butter the bottom and sides of a 13x9 casserole dish. Arranged the cooked broccoli as the first layer in the dish. Top that off with the cooked chicken pieces. Spoon soup mixture evenly over chicken and broccoli. Sprinkle cheese over entire casserole and bake @ 350 for 30 minutes. Serve with steamed rice.

------------
My Notes:

I seem to recall making this years ago, well before I had to started watching my cholesterol. When I first saw this recipe resurface, I decided to take another look at it. According to my calculations weight watchers points come in around 92 for the entire casserole. I assume it serves 8. Is it worth almost 12 points per serving? You decide.

P.S. At my current weight, I am allowed 20 points per day. I'll be the one eating plain old broiled chicken and broccoli.

The Package

I returned from the post office a few days ago with a huge package. Rusty and Minnie were on top of the bundle the moment I set it down. They haven't been as excited since the arrival of their veterinarian catnip toy icon of Dr. Gerry.

Thinking I could wait to open it after lunch, I headed to the kitchen. As soon as I was out of sight, the cats began to claw the package, with the viciousness of Roy's tiger. I came back into the living room. Rusty sat on top of the box, his statuistic stance of innocence. Minnie strutted around the package inspecting the damage. I gave in and brought out the scissors.

Four paws reached in to help remove the popcorn stuff, all over the rug naturally. Oh well, the cats were distracted enough so I could open the contents of the first box. I pulled out a six foot purple feather boa. Real cool, just what I needed to complete my flapper outfit. I hung it over the door to my bedroom. The cats were still distracted by the popcorn stuff.

Back to the package. I pulled out the next treasure, an 18" long narrow box. I shook it a bit. Rusty looked at me. Minnie looked at me. I opened the box. You would think the cats were in heat by the sound of the howls as I pulled out this most perfect Red Hat icon:




I placed her on top of my desk and stood back to admire. Minnie leaped up and sniffed at her, Rusty jumped up on the other side. Before I could grab her, Minnie and Rusty started a game of tug of war with the boa. Minnie knocked my precious icon to the floor. I ran to the rescue, picked up the icon, checked her for injuries and ruffled up her boa. Then I started the parade around the apartment looking for a place to put her as a precaution against future feline attacks. Minnie and Rusty pied pipered their way behind me, emitting the most horrific yeowls. I wanted her to be on display, in a prominent place. I eyed my husband's I Magnin Stief bear in its glass doll case. Perfect. It's a bit crowded with the two of them in there but it's just temporary until I find a more appropriate environment for her majesty.

Later that evening... while relaxing in my favorite chair, I heard the a thump from the direction of my bedroom, the banging of a door knob against the wall, followed by claws screeching along a hollow door. Minnie ran into the living room, purple feather boa trailing behind her with Rusty on the chase.

In the middle of the night... something woke me up, a sense that something was amiss. I looked around the room in the dim light. There was Rusty perched on top of the glass case, salivating, plotting...

P.S. I need a name for my Red Hat Cat - any suggestions?

Caution, Beading is Hazardous

It looks so simple. Get a piece of string, cord, wire, whatever. String beads on it until it seems to resemble something that you might even wear. Tie a knot at the end. Glue the knot so it won't come untied. Pull glued knot into large bead in order to hide it. Simple right?

So why am I sitting here at the keyboard pecking this out with 7 fingers and 1 thumb? Because a big chunk of my left forefinger and left thumb are glued to the large bead holding the necklace together. Perhaps I shouldn't have used super glue.

Should have heeded my horoscope today: This is certainly not the time to try anything new or far-fetched...you'll be much better off...the more new things you attempt, the more times you are apt to fail...stay focused...

The Party is Over

It was quite a weekend. Earlier in the week I had Baby J overnight. Check out his website for the latest.

Saturday I went to a great Red Hat mini convention - Check the RHS Molls weblog for the latest pictures.

Okay, I've updated you all. Now I must recover.

Nanowrimo

It's been a year. I'm going to write another 50,000 word novel this November. Why? Just because I did it last year and found it good practice for when I finally decide it's time to write the real novel.

So....Wittbits may have even less posts during the month of November.

Still Around

I'm still around. Just too busy to blog. Had 7 month old Baby J for 72 hours, not that I count the hours. It's just that when he's here, I spend all my time completely devoted to him. He crawls now. He's in to everything. He has teeth and eats food. I had friends come over to see him. They all said he should be a model... See, it's not just me. He really is perfect. I'd post another picture but I need to catch up on stuff.

Meanwhile, the apartment needs cleaning, I have to fold my laundry, make the bed, the cats want attention, Uncle Mac wants dinner, husband wants attention, I have to do payroll for the vet, have to take husband to Saturn dealer to pick up car, have to... have to... have to... I guess you get the picture.

Flapper Dress II

The purple flapper dress (that is what the pattern cover calls it) finished per the pattern instructions was just too plain. So I asked for advice. The suggestions were duct tape, staples & tape, layers of lace, and fringe. I went to three fabric stores looking for something appropriate. I opted for fringe. Found 4 inch lavender fringe at $5.95 per yard - times 10 yards - way too expensive. Gold looked too gaudy. Red would distract from the red hat. So I bought 2 inch black fringe $2.50 per yard. The fringe cost more than the fabric. The result: I think it now resembles something a cowgirl would wear to a country dance. Maybe I should consider buying red cowgirl boots and a cowgirl hat.



Oh, and about going to those three fabric stores. I ended up checking out the bead departments and buying more purple beads. I happened to see some fabric that reminds me of someone I know so of course I bought a couple of yards. He will have new boxer shorts soon. Also happened to see some fabric printed with roads, lakes and buildings that would make a perfect play mat for Baby J. Before I got to the measuring table I spotted the fleece aisle. Baby J would love that Curious George fabric, and it is so soft and snuggly. I juggled three bolts of fabric, while searching for matching thread, blanket ribbon, and elastic. The thought never crossed my mind that it would have been much easier to visit the measuring table first. Deducted another $72.99 from checkbook for debit card use. Plus, I don’t know how much it will cost to repair the old sewing machine, or if it is even repairable.

Other Notes:

Question of the Day: Why is it that when men go shopping for salad ingredients they forget the dressing?

Bumper stickers: We're staying together for the sake of the cats.

Observed: Caught a 63-year old friend being fitted for a toe ring. She was so embarrassed. Said she had always wanted a toe ring Told me not to tell anyone. I promised I wouldn’t.

Wondering: Should I get a toe ring? Would you tell on me?

HELP! I need a seamstress/fashion consultant. QUICK!

This is the purple dress I am making that I must wear in less than 2 weeks. It is not finished. The material ravels. The multiple hems (neck cape, skirt cape, and hemline) need to be finished off. I could roll the hems but ick that would take forever. I could iron on some kind of fusion fabric, but that might pucker??? Perhaps I should finish it off with some sort of lace? Keep in mind that this dress is being made for a red hat event. We like glitz, we wear red hats (mine for this event is a moll hat with purple feathers), and we love it when things don't quite match. I am putting together a red and purple bead necklace and bracelets as possible adornments. I have fishnet stockings and red shoes.

I need suggestions!!!! Fast!!!!!

How did you find me?

Interesting the searches that find my blog...kind of puts another focus on what I write - did I really write all these things?

turnip blossoms
red hat society coin purse
sportsline pedometer
when did celebrating sweet sixteen start
mix red and purple
kenmore sewing machine
teenage nail polish kit
magdelend sisters
pictures of a shat
how to sew a flapper
pink color elastic headband
polo head bands

Sewing

The sewing machine was oiled. Completely cleaned and oiled. I got the purple fabric, made the flapper dress pattern, cut out all 17 pieces and pinned it together.

The shoulder and side seams of the bodice went well in spite of the slightly slippery fabric and the tendency to ravel. The pattern didn't say anything about facing around the neck and since I remembered my home ec classes I knew it had to be done. I sewed some around the neck and then around the arm holes. First mistake. Can't turn the fabric if neck and arms are both sewn together. Rip out. Sew the facing on the neck. Sew seam binding on arm holes and turn in. Not too bad, just a few wrinkles, but they will be covered up by cape.

Skirt side seams are next. I smell something burning. The wheel won't turn on the machine. I put my knee to the pedal and smell more burning. Wow, I sure must be whipping through this fast! Then I see the sparks and smoke... the tiny little motor on the back of my 38 year old Kenmore was toast.

Frantically I call a local sewing machine repair shop. The lady on the other end says, "oh yeah, I have one of those old Kenmore's in the shop now, has been here for a couple of months, can't seem to find a new motor." I tell her I'll think about it.

The debate begins. Would it be worth it to go out and purchase a new machine just so I could complete this dress that looks like it may be a disaster? Would I use the machine ever again? Would it sit for another 38 years? Well, I start thinking about all the things I might want to do again someday. I used to make all my clothes. I made my kids clothes until they demanded shirts with alligators on them. I made my husbands shirts until he burst the buttons. I made gifts for all my friends: quilts, purses, tote bags, pillows, toys, placemats and toaster covers. I never did see any of these items in use. Would I ever do that again? Really?

I spent a couple hours on the Internet checking out machines. Some as low as $99, all plastic. Only the ones close to $1000 looked any good. I opted not to purchase a new machine. Instead I called my sister and asked to borrow her garage sale special which just happens to be a Kenmore a couple of years newer than mine. It worked. It even had the same metal bobbins as mine so I wouldn't have to rewind them. Trouble is, her machine has a foot pedal, not a knee pedal. I drove that pedal just about as good as the clutches I burned out trying to learn to drive a stick shift (note: I still can't drive one of those).

To make a long story short (you thought I'd never get to the end, right?), the dress has been completed except for all the hand sewing. It actually fits, sort of. All I have to do is roll the hems for the skirt, the big circular top cape, the large, and long skirt cape. Then I need to find some kind of bow to place on the back where the cape doesn't quite come together. I might have to add a little trim around the neckline since I found out that I should not have put that facing in after all because the neck cape took care of that problem.

Will I actually wear this dress??? October 4th is still a couple weeks away, perhaps I'll go shopping. But then again, I think I should save the money to repair the old machine just in case I get another opportunity... my grandson needs a Halloween costume and the store bought ones are so cheesy...

New Fangled Objects

Pink, green, blue and purple vinyl coated baby spoons. I bought them yesterday so I could feed Baby J without hurting his tender teething gums. First thing I did was to toss them in a sink of hot soapy water. When I removed them, they were all white vinyl. What the heck I thought.. how cheap can you get that the colors washes off the first cleaning. Sure glad I didn't put them in Baby J's mouth before I washed them. I set them out on the towel to dry. Returning a few minutes later to put the utensils away, I found the color had returned. Dug through the garbage for the wrapper - White Hot Safety Spoons. They turn white if the baby's food is too hot. What will they think of next? How about self cleaning diapers?

Other than that I have been working on some Friday MeMeMes

Sept 11th

Previous 9/11: 9/11/1997 I hiked to the top of Mt. Whitney. I can't help but remember the date as an anniversary of that feat.

9/11/2001: (At the time I was separated from my husband and living with a friend) I was eating breakfast when my roommate called me into her bedroom, "a plane just flew into the WTC." I shrugged my shoulders and returned to the breakfast table. A while later my roommate called me back into her room. Now the second plane hit. We huddled on her bed, watching the collapse, in complete disbelief. I went to work late, returned home early, all the while glued to some sort of media.

Last year: Our city had a candlelight memorial in the local town square. I attended and felt a good sense of community coming together.

This year: I notice that our city has not been list as having any kind of memorial this year. That's a shame. I have been reading many other blogs. Seems most have some mention of Sept 11th memories so I figured I must acknowledge here. I will not be among those who stayed glued to the media rehashing all those old tapes. I will observe the day with thoughts for those who directly suffered. Perhaps I'll light my own candle tonite.

So far today...

Annoyance of the Day: Husband waiting to do dinner dishes from yesterday at the same time I am trying to make coffee and breakfast.

My latest gadget: Sportsline Pedometer, the inexpensive kind that only counts steps because I am beyond counting miles. The goal is 10,000 steps per day. At least that's what the booklet says. The suggested program for the first week is to not change your regular routine, just count and record the number of steps each day. Saturday I spent with the red hatters, shopping, having tea, etc. Total steps 5609. Sunday I spent with an old friend, shopping, just wandering around town. Total steps 5611. Yesterday I spent the day with husband and baby. Total steps 1600. Conclusions: (1)No wonder I gain weight when I spend more time with husband. (2)Crawling on floor with baby doesn't register as steps.

Okay, enough picking on husband. He's not all that bad. Today he is doing the laundry, taking out the newspapers and garbage, and going grocery shopping.

I've been up for three hours, fixing breakfast having to walk around husband at least four times, walking to work, sitting at desk. So far I've logged 956 steps. No, I am not obsessed with this new toy...

New Slippers

I just have to pass it on because it is way too funny - I found the link on Susan's blog.

Go here to find out how to make these

Let's Talk About Your Blog

Okay, I said that I would do all me Memes on my Me Me Me blog. But then I ran across the topic of the week at The Back Porch. Actually it was the topic for August 26th but as of today it is still the current topic.

The topic: Let's Talk About Your Blog

This peaked my interest because I have been thinking lately about what I put in here and why. It seems like it has become so much like my teenage diary - all the today I did this, today I did that and then and then... This is not what my original intention was. Sure I wanted a place to keep in touch, kind of let people know what is going on in my life, or what my reactions are to life's events. I was aiming for more of an Erma Bombreck kind of style but it seems I haven't done well in maintaining any sense of humor.

Then I discoved the Memes and started to get a bit lazy. Some of my creativity went amok. I lost that ability to come up with my own topics and started to rely on what was out there for prompts and stuff.

So what would I do different, add delete, invent? Probably not a lot. Life has it's ups and downs, ins and outs. Sometimes I'm inspired, sometimes I'm not. So what? At least I have been reasonably consistent in putting a few words out here and there. In the end I'll probably not change much so if one is bored reading this, so be it. Just check back once in a while and perhaps you will hit a good day, a creative day, something that has some meaning or makes sense for the time.

The MeMes will go on the Me Me Me blog unless I have an unresistable inclination to place them here.

It's my blog (party) and I'll cry if I want to...

Virus

Okay a virus got me. Well I should say it got my computer. Fortunately I think I caught it before it did any damage. So who is the responsible party for sending me stuff with CoreFlood? Perhaps I was stupid enough to open something that I should have been more careful about. Anyway, it's ByeBye to CoreFlood... I hope. Thanks McAfee

I am confused. I thought AOL promised that with the new upgrade to 9.0 they were going to watch out for these monsters. Interesting that one of the affected files was in my AOL9.0 folder malware3003 . So I guess I can't trust AOL. McAfee is now back in the running - I had shut it off because it was interfering with my AOL DSL connection. So we will see what happens now.

Me Me Me

In the future I'll be posting all those memes here

Busy

I've been busy. Discovered Fragments so I decided to participate. It's a once a week thing. My Fragments are here.

And today I spent the afternoon with the RHS Molls

Also stopped by Beaddazzled to buy beads. As if I have so much free time to get involved in yet another hobby. This is all because one of the red hatters wore several of her bead projects. I want to make all of those things.

Aging Vanities

My Life in Vanities

Child: A small dressing table - dainty pink flowered curtains gathered around drawers and stool underneath - Hand held mirror perched up against the wall - Brush, comb and barrettes and pony tail bands - Empty miniature perfume bottles, candy lipstick, powder box with a huge powder puff like mom’s, tissues and a small bottle of Jergens lotion - A lipstick and matching nail polish kit given to me by Aunt Dorothy, all shades of red, never used because Mom said I was too young for that - Big bottle of bitter tasting Iron tonic.

Early Teen: Dresser top, mirror on the wall - Unused Avon miniature lipsticks in all shades of pink suitable for young teenager according to Mom - Pink sponge rollers and plastic head bands and bandanas - Double edged razor hidden from Mom under un-ironed blue gym suit - Huge box of Kotex hidden under pajamas in dresser drawer - Midol.

Sweet 16: Same dresser and mirror - Unused Avon miniature lipsticks in rose colors suitable for sweet sixteen year olds according to Mom - 2 Inch coil rollers with picks, sleep cap, aqua net hair spray, Hooded hair dryer, Sun-In Hair Color and elastic headbands - Baby oil & Iodine - Noxema, Lip Gloss, and Mascara - Nair - Teenage Tampax. Midol.

Newly married: Lighted mirror - Chanel # 5 - Whipped Massage Crème - Heated Rollers - Bonneted hair dryer - Ash blond hair color - Coppertone tanning lotion - Red lipstick suggested by husband but never used - Mary Kay Cosmetics - Bikini Wax and Electric Razor - Super Tampax - Hangover bitters and Birth control pills.

Not Quite 40: Opium perfume - Vanilla Massage Lotion - Blow dryer, no curlers - Streaks & Highlighters - Sprintz, Gels and sprays - SPF 15 - Clinique cosmetics and a teetering stack of tiny Dramatically Difference Moisturizer bottles - Neutral lipstick - Antidepressants.

Over 50: Magnifying mirror - Extra moisture balancing lotion - Hair color suitable for covering gray - Sun hats - SPF 30 - Lancome aging formula - Wrinkle Crème - Fade resistant lipstick – Hormones - Minipads.

Coming Soon: Too much of any perfume - Therapeutic Lotion - Bobbi pins - SPF 80 - Ponds Cold Crème – Chapstick - Baby aspirin - Diapers.


His Life in Vanities:

Teenage: Razors - Rubbers
Newlywed: Razors – Rubbers - Vitamin E
Middle Age: Razors – Rubbers - Vitamin E - Flax Seed Oil
Geezer: Razors – Diapers - Nose/Ear Hair remover – Rogaine - Tucks - Gold Bond Powder - Viagra

Pilates Etc

I survived my first Pilates class at Absolute Center So glad that there were only three of us in the class. I am such a geek, being the only one who absolutely cannot do a sit up. "It will get better," the instructor says. Anyway, something worked right, I feel the muscles already. Might be a painful day tomorrow. So far the back is holding out.

Also survived my son's first attempt at vegetarian cooking. It was actually very good. I think he's going to make a great husband for some lucky young lady. Anyone out there looking? Must be 30 or less and approved by future mother in law.

Last...

last cigarette: 1970
last car ride: yesterday
last kiss: yesterday
last good cry: a couple of months ago
last library book checked out: probably in 1980 or so, can't remember
last movie seen: The Magdelend Sisters
last book read: Virginia Woolf - Memoirs
last cuss word uttered: hmmmmmmm
last beverage drank: coffee
last food consumed: cereal
last phone call: my sister
last tv show watched: Sesame Street
last time showered: this morning
last shoes worn: Rockports
last cd played: Chicago soundtrack
last item bought: food at Oakland Art & Soul Festival
last annoyance: the mommy of my grandson
last disappointment: the chicken pot pie I had for dinner last night - where was the chicken?
last soda drank: diet coke
last thing written: this
last key used: ?
last words spoken: see ya
last sleep: 11pm to 6:30am
last im: dragonbelch (my son)
last sexual fantasy: too old for that
last weird encounter: all encounters see weird lately
last ice cream eaten: Dreyers vanilla
last time amused: dinner last night
last time wanting to die: wanting to? couple months ago feeling like I'm about to? last surgery
last time in love: 2001
last time hugged: yesterday
last time scolded: 1968
last time resentful: yesterday
last chair sat in: work chair
last underwear worn: pink jockey undies
last shirt worn: purple Land's End polo
last time dancing: last drunk
last poster looked at: movie poster for Seabiscuit
last show attended: Chicago
last webpage visited: bluecad.net (that's where I got this)

The Weekend Went Too Fast

Had the company of Baby J all day yesterday and today. He is growing up way too fast. Has 2 teeth and loves food. Bought him a baby food grinder so he can eat what we eat. Same way I raised my kids. They were never picky eaters so it must have worked.

Baby J is six months old and right on target. He crawls. Well, he actually crawls backwards but that counts doesn't it? He also gets up on his hands and toes, poised to run track.

Okay, enough baby talk. We also enjoyed the afternoon today going to the Oakland Art and Soul Festival. Great entertainment, food and art. Baby enjoyed it all... oops more baby talk. I can't help it, we took him with us. Oh and while I'm at it, he went on his first BART train. He liked that too.

So today was a holiday. So what, every Monday is a holiday for me. I only work Tuesday through Friday. How dumb I am to choose Monday as my day off. Do you know most all holidays fall on Monday? Dumb, dumb, dumb. Tomorrow I'll get up just like every other Tuesday, ready to start my new week. I'm going to have to do something about all that. But not until after Thanksgiving. That two day week will be great.

Tomorrow I start my beginning Pilates class. Keep reading about what a fad it is. Oh well, if it helps my back, I'll do anything.

Signing off now and to bed before 10:30. I'm going to be good this week.

Mutterings

1. Kiss:: me Kate
   
2. Nothing:: ventured nothing gained
   
3. Reach:: for the sky
   
4. Late:: again
   
5. Stump:: tree
   
6. Dreams:: nightmares
   
7. LOL:: can't stop laughing
   
8. Ornament:: Christmas
   
9. Neck:: tie
   
10. Guitar::strings
    

Even Better

Only consumed 20 points today. See, Weight Watcher meetings do work.

Did my Pilates routine.

Went to see Magdelena Sisters - heavy movie but good. Just don't go see it on a bad day.

Thanks Big Brother.

All Better

I went to bed early as I said I would. No TV, no reading.

Slept like a log. Woke up before alarm.

Went to Weight Watchers meeting. Weighed in and stayed for the meeting. Yes, I did gain another 5 pounds this month. So now I am working the program again. It's a new program. Flex Points. I like that. A lot.

Went to store and purchased lots of fruit. I'm going to be good.

I am signing off now because I need to do someone's payroll. See, I'm going to do my work too.

Thanks mom.

I Need a Mom...

or at least someone to tell me to behave.

You see, I have been bad. My husband has been working late nights this week. It's kind of like I'm on vacation when he's gone in the evening. I stay up late. I play around on the computer, do my exercises, play with the cats, read, watch a little TV and all of a sudden it's 2am. The radio alarm blasts out the news at exactly half past six in the morning. I drag myself out of bed saying, "I won't do that again." And then I do it all over.

So here I am. He's at work. I am dead tired. Tomorrow is Saturday but I can't sleep in. I have to get up and weigh in by 7:30am.

Weighing in. That's another reason I need a Mom. I need someone to say, "stop eating all that junk. weigh in every week, not just the very last Saturday of the month." I have no control lately. I eat junk food. Husband is gone for the evening, I help myself to Oreo's, M&Ms, Ice Cream. Usually I blame my husband for bringing the stuff home. But guess what... I stocked up my secret drawer.

Work. Another reason for Mom. Remind me that work comes before play. And playing shouldn't be done at work. But there I am. I have to get in just one more game of solitaire before I get to the work. It's even worse when I try to work at home on all those side jobs. I check my email. Feed the cats. Write in my diary. Write in my blog. Read blogs. And then it's too late to work. I'm too tired.

Exercise. I started Pilates training Monday. I did the routine at home in front of the TV on Tuesday. Wednesday I was too tired. Thursday I did half of it. Today...nada. Someone has to tell me to do it.

Okay, enough confessions. I've told you all my trangressions for this week. Now I have no excuse. I must turn this all around. Do the next right thing. Hey, it's only 9:15 here. I'm going to bed.

Besides, Big Brother is watching. I'm sure he'll straighten me out. Good Night.

Obfuscation - the Answer

If you haven't read the first entry from yesterday, read it before you look at the answer.



As much as I would want # 2 to be a lie, the truth is # 3 is the lie.

Bored yet?

Just a couple more things.

Who threw the bubble gum on the sidewalk outside my apartment this morning? Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

I want this bumper sticker: Fat people are harder to kidnap.

Now I have to go for sure. Snorting Hog is awakening. (you did read Indian Names below didn't you?) Problem with blog. You must read it backwards!

I checked out my hours online this month. 3770 minutes. I am not addicted to the internet. Someone else must be using my account. Really.

I'm done. Promise. No more drivel. I'm shutting down the computer.

The Sewing Machine Revived

Opened the sewing machine that has stood idle for 20 some years. Amazed to find the original Kenmore instruction book. Carefully placed drops of oil into each illustrated part. Wiped up spilled oil with husbands old underwear (clean). Couldn't find a spool of thread in my place so resorted to using an old bobbin to thread the machine. Found some old quilting pieces buried in my trunk. Put my knee to the pedal. Nothing. Cranked the wheel around a couple of times. Motor moans. Cranked the wheel around a couple more times. The needle goes up and down two or three times. Stops. Repeat cranking and groaning several more times. All of a sudden the motor takes off with a screetch, barely missed stitching up both thumbs.

Now there is no excuse. I get out the vintage pattern. It is all printed on blueprint paper. Each size a different line. I don't want to cut out a size 10 and find out I'm a size 12. Seems I'll have to trace the pattern onto tissued paper.

Off to the fabric store. Scissors, thread, seven yards of purple fabric, pins, needles, pin cushion, seam ripper, magnifying glass, snaps and hooks and a roll of pellam to make a pattern (cause that's what the clerk said to use). Home again. I look at the sewing machine, place the bag of fabric and notions on chair. I look at the pattern again. This seems way to complicated. So I decide that today I'm only going to make the pattern, maybe cut out the dress. After I write some blog stuff... Have you noticed how many entries I have made today?

Just checked - the cat is sleeping on the pattern. It wouldn't be good to disturb him.

Shopping

Yesterday, before going to the theatre, I stood in front of my closet wondering what I could pull out that would actually fit. Once again it seems that extra 10 pounds crept back on. Too late to take it off. Only solution was to go shopping. The solution, one pair of black dress pants, that stretch two ways and two sweaters because I couldn't decide which would be best. Oh, and I threw in a long black skirt in case I wanted to be a bit dressier.

Stopped off at Starbucks. Had coffee and caramel bar (Okay niece K - don't tell me the calorie/fat count this time).

Got home. Reached for the skirt. It was too tight. Now how can one afternoon coffee and one tiny caramel cookie do that? I wore the stretch pants vowing to never eat fat again.

Breakfast this morning with the Uncles: Waffles, butter, syrup, bacon, bowl of fruit, coffee. It's all the uncles fault..

Chicago

It was good to see the live Chicago at the Golden Gate Theatre. I had heard there were bad reviews. And with the first couple of scenes, I was considering that perhaps the reviews were right. However, we sat it out, in row T, kind of on the side, sweltering and found the rest of show reasonably rewarding. Would I go again? Probably not. But then again... Naw, it wasn't work the $85 per ticket.

Getting to the theatre. Now that's another story. Took Bart. Walked several blocks to the theatre, past the homeless, clinging my bag closer to my side. Relieved to get in the door. Going back, past the homeless now drunk or passed out, I walked briskly trying not to breathe in the stench of it all. Unfortunate that good theatres must be located in such rotten neighborhoods.

Indian Names

Last night at dinner my husband announced he was going to call me White Swan.

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause you should have an indian name."

"because?"

He looked at me, "just because."

So I looked back at him and said, "Okay Snorting Hog."

Do you know that today he just couldn't wait to tell everyone he knows what I will now call him? Oh no, what have we started?

Obuscation

I just gotta do this. I know it was due on Friday but I just happened to find out about it. So here goes: You figure out which are true or false - I don't have comments, so you'll have to email me.

#1. When I was seven years old I was visiting a friend who just happened to be living in an old farmhouse where I had lived for several years. We walked down a long dirt road to town, a small town in Michigan with maybe half a dozen stores. On the way back to her house, we stopped at a corner gas station. When the owner wasn't looking, we each snatched a candy bar. While we were enjoying the chocolate on our long walk home, a guy in an old station wagon pulled over and asked where we were going and if we need a ride. I didn't know who the guy was and my first reaction was that he had seen us steal the candy bars and we were doomed. I stuttered a bit but told him that we would rather walk. My friend looked astonished that I wouldn't take the ride. When we got back to her house, I found out the guy in the car was her father.

#2 I have always had a problem figuring out locks, especially on bathroom doors. One night I was riproaring drunk and had to go to the bathroom in the worst way. My husband pulled over in a city park and pointed to a portapotty. Being under the influence I could have cared less where I was so I got in there, did my duty, and reached for the lock. I couldn't get the trigger to work. Meanwhile my kids who were in their early teens thought it would be really funny to tip the portapotty. I woke up in the morning, sniffing my clothes, not quite sure if I could remember the adventure. They were quick to fill in the details.

#3 In the mid seventies streaking the neighborhood was a popular fad. Our friends had no problem participating in this activity so it was no surprise when we all went out and streaked the snowed in streets of Tahoe on a weekend retreat. The only trouble is, I was at the tale end of the line and they all thought it would be funny to run back, lock the door and leave me stranded out in the snow. Scared and shivering, I screamed and pounded on the door. Roaring laughter came from the other side of the door. Moments later the police cruiser arrived flashing lights on my naked body.

What's that noise?

For months I've been driving my car around with the most irritating noise emitting from the left front end. I've taken the car to the shop three times. Three times something was fixed under warranty. Three times they fixed the wrong thing. The noise remained.

What I can't figure out is why, each time, the mechanic could not hear the noise when he test drove the car. He asked what it sound like. I responded, "I don't know, some kind of squeal, drive it and see." He asked when it happens, when it's hot or cold, when the car has been running for a while, etc etc. I responded, "there is no such trigger as to when it happens. Drive it in my driveway and you will hear it." So, each time I picked up the car, I was assured that the repairs took care of the sound. Perhaps I was just hearing things.

I started to figure out that if I continued to take the car to the same mechanic, eventually I would end up with all new parts. Voila instant new car! But I made a mistake this week. I had my husband drop the car off. He told him there is a noise that has been reported three times and never fixed. The mechanic asked him what the noise sounded like. His response, "a caged hamster on a squeaky wheel."

Wouldn't you know it. The car no longer has that obnoxious noise. Is it the squeaky wheel or is it a kind of man to man thing?

Whatever

I need to write. Not that I have anything in particular to say but because I find myself posting less frequently. Maybe some of you think that is a good thing. Oh well. Here's todays drivel.

I'm lazy. It's all the fault of the lady at the Pilates Studio. You see I signed up to be personally evaluated to see if this kind of training might help out my back problems. I had it on my calendar that the appointment was yesterday at 2pm. She wasn't there. Another trainer looked at her calendar and insists that I have an appointment for next Monday. Today my trainer called and apologized. I told her, "oh no problem, I must have written down the wrong date." Seems I do that more and more these days. Anyway it gave me an excuse to...

not exercise yesterday. I could have gone to the Pilates Mat class that I usually take on Monday nights but no, I was still too miffed because I was sure I was right about the date. What did I expect anyway - that she would call and fit me in somehow? Anyway I didn't go exercise at all. Instead I...

ate too much food. Went to a mexican restaurant and pigged out on a huge vegetarian burrito. Vegetarian as in mostly rice and beans, very little vegetables. And while I was waiting for that burrito I ate more than my share of chips and salsa. Talk about out of control. When I got home I ate Ben & Jerrys ice cream. And then...

this morning I stepped on the scale. Oh why did I do that? No wonder my pants are all too tight. There is just something about these weekends where I wear long shapeless dresses, elastic band pants, and baggy workout clothes. All clothes that allow that extra bit of space to fill up with junk food. So tonight I...

at a frozen cardboard diet entree. Shopped for low fat foods. Ignored it when my husband stuck the Krispy Kreme donuts in the cart. Overlooked when he put in the cookies, ice cream and chips. Got home, looked at his stash of goodies, looked at my stash of low fat foods and...

I didn't touch his stuff!!! ... yet

CD Release

Yesterday we were honored to be invited to the CD release by our dear friend, Dave Chapman. Quite often Dave joins a number of singers at the Alley on Grand Avenue in Oakland. Proceeds from the sale of the CD go directly to the trust fund of the daughter of Jeff Bond. Jeff was a great musician who played on the Snow Train from the Bay Area to Reno. He died in a car accident about a year ago.

Some of the songs on the CD include Bye Bye Blackbird, As Time Goes By, What Kind of Fool Am I. It's all good. The CD is $15 and is for a worthy cause. Tell me if you want one.

Mutterings

1. Only you:: can make my dreams come true....
   
2. 33:: and 1/3
   
3. Foundation:: strong
   
4. Accidents:: oops
   
5. Hometown:: lots of them
   
6. Natural:: disaster
   
7. Bombastic:: not me
   
8. Bachelor:: buttons
   
9. Far away:: Norway
   
10. Tony::award
    

In the News Again!!!

OMG - it happened again - we are in the Contra Costa Times


I have a feeling we may be in the Healdsburg newspaper tomorrow. See our latest Red Hat Adventures here.

In the News

OMG - I made it to the front page

of the

Rossmoor News

How Was Your Weekend?

My weekend was good. Evita production at Woodminster was good, not great. Got together with friends, trying to repeat an event we all did 30 some years ago. As much as I tried, I could not remember what we saw, what we ate or drank, and who went. I only remembered that it was cold and the benches were uncomfortable. So we started talking about the last time we did this. Turns out no one has the ability to remember all the particulars. So we pieced it all together. Funny how one person remembers something completely different from everyone else. All I know is that they finally added backs to the seats so you aren't sitting for 2 hours on a hard bench. The only problem, these plastic molded seats are slippery and don't quite fit anyone over size 6.

Yesterdays Symposium was good. I hadn't attended this event for several years and yet I still ran into some good old friends that I hadn't seen in ages. Seems we have all become a bit more gray as well as a bit more wide and a all had a bit more trouble trying to get down on the ground and back up again. Great speakers. Something like 1100 years of sobriety from 150 women. Not so bad a record.

Great party, great food, and most gracious hosts at the party last night. We took Baby J. He was the hit of the party, stole all the grandmas hearts. He was soooo good. He always is.

Okay, it's Monday. This week I'm going to work out at the gym at least 3 times, tonite, Wednesday? Friday? NO EXCUSES. Okay I'm off to the gym. See ya.

Mutterings Again

1. Miss America:: not me for sure
   
2. Cherubs:: Aunt Pat
   
3. Shark Week:: huh?
   
4. Sunflowers:: Seeds
   
5. Sorority:: Girls
   
6. Grilled chicken: sandwich
   
7. 100:: times
   
8. Tickle monster:: me
   
9. Veronica:: Archy
   
10. Slurpee::slush
    

Notoriety and The Good Week

The Red Hat Society is going to be featured in the Contra Times soon! We are all pressing our purple attire and dusting our red hats for the photo shoot and are we ever excited. Stay tuned.

In spite of my bad Aries horoscope predictions this week, I have had a good week. Each morning I have been reading about being cautious, not to expect too much, careful how I deal with family, etc etc. So far I have 100% proved them to be wrong. I've had a good week. An exciting week.

Perhaps it was the breaths of mountain air at the beginning of the week. Invigorating. Then there was a good workout at the gym on Monday evening (I added an extra plate to each weight machine), followed by a Pilates mat class. Repeated the workout on Wednesday. Yes it feels good to be active. Yes the back is still cranky but it's going to be that way no matter what I do.

Had a haircut yesterday. Going for the flapper look for my October Red Hat Event. So now my bob is a bit shorted in back and I'm hoping the front will be sufficiently long by my next trim just before the event. Got the pattern for the flapper dress. Now I just need to find the perfect fabric. But not this weekend because...

Today I have Baby J. Today I need to grocery shop for Uncle Mac. Today I need to make a fruit salad for the picnic we are going to before seeing Evita at Woodminster amphitheatre tonight. Tomorrow I have an all day women's event. Tomorrow I am also going to a party at the home of my husband's boss. By tomorrow night I should be pretty well exhausted and ready for recovery on Monday and work on Tuesday.

Oh well, perhaps I'll sew next weekend. And look for fishnet stockings, a cigarette holder (and some candy cigarettes?), purple beads, and whatever else befits a flapper.

Our chapter of the red hatters is planning a Halloween party. So now I have two reasons to get the flapper outfit in the works. But then the party is on a Friday noon. I have to work on Fridays so will have to make an appearance during my lunch hour. Not so sure about wearing that Flapper garb to work... We'll see.

Oh, and I got tickets to Chicago (live) at the Golden Gate. Trouble is I tried to order the tickets online and kept getting great seats but it wouldn't complete the transaction. By the time I made my way down to the local Ticketmaster, I had to settle for row T. 16 rows back and still costs $85 a pop. There went my fun money for the entire month. On top of that, I open the newspaper and see the review for the show. Not a good review. Oh well, by the time we see it in 2 weeks they will have all the kinks worked out.

Well, Baby J is stirring. Gee that was a short nap. I ordered a couple of toys at Baby Center and they came yesterday. My husband caught me trying them all out when they arrived. I had to make sure they were safe you know. Okay, Baby J is calling, I'm off to see how he likes his new stuff. Must hurry. He has to go home by noon. : (

Well, one more thing. I just ran this through spell check. There was an error - it seems blogger thinks that "fishnet" should be replaced by "poisoned". Hmmmm.

Mutterings Etc

The best thing I heard today: Just do the next right thing

1. Hook:: crook
   
2. Greg:: who?
   
3. Sixty:: miles an hour
   
4. Breakfast:: cereal
   
5. Dollar:: bill
   
6. Unpredictable: who knows
   
7. O:: Oprah
   
8. Bathing suit:: fat
   
9. Inconsiderate:: rude
   
10. Marx:: Brothers
    

Or this??

My Logo 2

The one below or this?

My Logo?

Tell me what you think

Sorensen's Resort

I should put a plug in here for Sorensen's Resort.
This is where I go when I need to get away from the bay area. I used to go to the mountains, backpack my way in a few miles, and sleep out under the stars. These days I am lucky to pack myself in the car, travel a few hours and sleep in a cabin in the mountains with the windows open. At least I can breathe the air and smell the trees and listen to the creek babble. Not quite like the old days but I will admit it is much nicer sleeping in a real bed. Oh dear, I am getting old.

A Short Time Out

Took Baby J to the mountains Sunday night and returned today. Needed to breathe some of that fresh mountain air. Baby J and I had lots of fun.

My Name in Print

I got the e-mail today from Writer's Digest. They liked the writing prompt I sent them so I'll be listed as one of the contributors of prompts in the December issue! I know, it's just a small reward but it means a lot because somebody liked something I said enough to give me a credit. Can I now say I am a writer and have been published?

Actually I have been published in a rather indirect way previously. I submitted a letter once to Lauren Artess for a book she was writing about Labyrinth experiences. It did get printed in her book. However I was only an anonymous writer at that time.

Somehow it is still exciting to see something that you write in print. I get satisfaction just seeing my contributions appear in the Story Circle Journal which is a quarterly 16-24 page magazine. It's always a good feeling when we are accepted. And being selected as writer of the month earlier this year was even better.

Now about that book I will write someday... I was going to use a pen name but I am rethinking. I want my name on there. To heck with the consequences. Remember, it will be fiction. But then again, we write what we know don't we? In that case I guess it might be creative nonfiction. Maybe I better work on a pen name afterall.

My Life is Fiction

"He said. She said." He said.
"What?" I ask.
"He said. She said." She said.
"Okay, I give up, what are you two talking about?" I looked them in the eye. The ones who keep saying "He said. She said."
She said, "well we know you write everything you do and see. You write about us don't you? so, when one of us forgets and says or does something, we remind each other with "He said. She said."
I said, "I only write fiction."
"Is that so?" she said. She seemed relieved at that comment.
With that in mind, perhaps I'll start yet another blog. Complete fiction. Honest. And guess what? It probably won't be believable. But then our life isn't believable either. If I wrote the truth, you would think it is fiction.

Other than that, it was an umbrella kind of day. Has been that way for two days now. I missed the thunderstorms a couple of nights ago. Sound asleep, totally oblivious. Tomorrow the sun will come out. Our summer storm will have happened. No more rain until Halloween... if we are so fortunate.

Chocolate Anyone?

Nice and Sweet and not too overbearing, you are
Milk Chocolate. Everyone likes you to some
extent, and a lot of people love you more than
they love their cat.


What Kind of Chocolate are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Cat I Am

If I were a cat, I would be a… Lynx! Lynxes (Lynx lynx) are compact, agile cats found in great numbers worldwide. Their coats are brownish gray and are covered with irregular spots. They have unique tufted ears and fluffy cheeks. Being a Lynx, you are a very quiet person. You have many talents yet prefer to keep them quiet rather than flaunting them boldly. Many admire you – and for good reason! - TAZL.com - Take the Quiz -

The MRI Experience

Got up extra early today. Didn't want to chance missing my appointment for the MRI that has finally been approved after a two year battle with my HMO. "There is no preparation required," the receptionist assured me yesterday when I made the appointment. Yeah right I think. I've heard about those MRIs. The discomfort. The noises. The claustrophobia. 30 minutes of not moving. So I prepared.

I woke up extra early. I showered, shaved my armpits, applied deodorant, lotion and makeup. I dressed in clothes easy to remove and replace because I am always afraid someone will open the door to the dressing room and catch me half naked. I ate my bowl of Kashi Good Friends Cereal with raspberries and non-fat milk a bit slower than usual not wanting to risk gas or indigestion. I skipped the coffee so I wouldn't have the jitters. Truth is I skipped the coffee because I was afraid I would have to go to the ladies room in the middle of the procedure. I removed all the extra jewelry (one necklace and two rings). I left early because I was sure there would be a traffic jam. I got there half an hour early.

After completing the 3 pages of paperwork, I was ushered to the dressing room, handed a gown, given a key to the locker for all my valuables and told to take everything off but my undies and sandals and tie the gown in the back. I was also told the restroom was right down the hall. I figured I didn't need to use that. After placing my stuff in the locker and fiddling with the key (I always have trouble with locks) I decided I better use the ladies room anyway, just in case. The receptionist seemed a bit taken aback when I exited the dressing room in my gown asking where the restroom was. Of course I didn't really have to go.

Just as I picked up a year old copy of Oprah magazine so I could look at the fuzzy pictures (I had stashed away my reading glasses), the technician knocked on the door. She led me back to the MRI room, "you took everything off but your undies right?"

"Yes," I said looking around to see if anybody heard that.

"Are you claustrophobic?"

"I don't think so." I don't think she was listening to my responses anyway.

She handed me earplugs. "There will be loud noises." I hate earplugs but I softened them up as instructed and molded them into my ears. Then she started to explain the procedure. More through her motions than her muffled voice, I figured out I had to lie on the table with my head in the cradle.

The table inched in. The chatter starts in my head. I am not claustrophobic. There is plenty of room in here. Even Eric fit in one of these and he's twice my size.

What's that click click? Doesn't seem too noisy to me. I hear a voice. "This one will take one minute." I don't move. I hear loud popping noises then machine gun sounds. I try to count to 60. Breathe in breathe out. Don't move. The noise tops.

The voice comes back, "how are you doing?"

I answer "fine."

"This one will take two minutes." I breathe in and out. Tell myself I will have a caffe latte reward when this is over. I made it through one minute, I can make it through two. The pops, the clicks, the machine gun. I wonder if I am being sliced and diced. I picture the woman in the magic show being sliced in two.

The procedure is repeated for 4 1/2 minutes, then another 4 1/2 minutes, then 4 minutes, and then finally the last one only 3 minutes. Same noises. Same thoughts running through my head. I'm conscious of my breathing. Once in a while I can't help it, I have to gasp. I wonder what happens when I do that. I try to breathe slowly, rhythmically. I don't want to have to do this again. My back aches. My neck is stiff. I want to move.

At last the table moves out to the brightly lighted room. I blink. It's over. The technician tells me to get up. I look at her blankly. You mean I'm supposed to just jump off this table as if there is nothing wrong? I'm here because I can't do those sorts of things. I need help. Finally she gets the message and offers me her hand.

On the way out the door she asks, "you did remove your bra didn't you?"

I want to rip my gown off and prove it to her but I just nod my head.

"Well I detected some sort of metal artifact. Are you sure you don't have some sort device in there?"

I think about it. No I don't know of any devices. Maybe I was abducted by aliens one night and implanted with a chip of some sort. Maybe they are studying me. Maybe there is some tool in there from a previous surgery. Maybe I can sue someone and get rich. I look her straight in the eye. "no I have no metal artifacts."

Next stop, Starbucks. Reward - caffe latte and maple oatnut scone.

My Sister Turns 45

Little sister has been having a difficult time dealing with the aging process. Yesterday at her birthday party, the trauma team came to her rescue.

Mutterings, Funerals, Etc

Yesterdays funeral for the other grandma was a completely new experience for us. First of all it was at a church located at the worst possible intersection in East Oakland. It was rather difficult to be inconspicuous on this particular occasion. We were the palest people in the neighborhood.

We settled in the back row not wanting to cause any consternation with the rest of the congregation. The church was sparse. There was not a hymnal in sight, no need here, they all know their gospel songs. No air conditioning. just square cardboard fans supplied from the local funeral parlors. The walls were bare except for a couple of faded Jesus pictures. There was no organist or pianist. They didn't need either.



The mother of our grandson has tried to explain to us that they have a different way of addressing funerals than we do. This is based on her attendance at two of our family "funerals" that we experienced a few months ago. These were not necessarily official "white" funerals. They were both celebrations of life done in the style the deceased requested, not characteristic of most white people funerals or memorials.

The service was a lengthy affair, almost 3 hours. While I never knew the other grandma well as her health was failing by the time I met her, I learned that she was a dearly loved woman with a heart that touched all of her four sisters and brother as well as the children and grandchildren of each. She was a loving mother and did the best she could. She had a hard life.

I was very impressed with the preacher. His message was lengthy but relevant to the situation. Here was a person who had survivied the the gutters of the streets, emerging with a purpose in life. A purpose to help others keep from straying into those paths. He had a powerful message, the kind only possible by one who has "been there and done that." My comment to my family when it was over, "you know that one sermon had a more profound effect on me than any that my own father ever preached." Strange that I would find this in a place that I would never have dared to visit.

One other thing, I have never felt as welcomed by a family as I was yesterday. There were no boundaries of prejudice here. It's just one more example how our experience of a mixed race grandson has brought us new understanding and a new level of compassion.

1. Partner:: ship
   
2. Goddess:: green
   
3. Village:: idiot
   
4. Relationships:: couples
   
5. Irrational:: insane
   
6. Volcano: erupts
   
7. Fabulous:: Fifties
   
8. Unencumbered:: free
   
9. Coyotes:: howls
   
10. Fulfilled:: happy
    

I called the radio station

I dialed the number. There was a busy signal. I was not surprised. I dialed again expecting another busy signal. It rang. I panicked. Could I do this? I get so nervous. How could I speak on the radio? "Just get a grip," I told myself.

The young lady who answered was kind. "What kind of case are you calling about?"

"Guardianship," I said. She tells me to hold on.

Next voice is a man. "Tell me about the situation."

I gave him a brief synopsis. He said, "hold on you are next."

I panicked, wondered if I should hang up. Than I panicked more because I realized that I had divulged my real first name and city. Oh well. There could be lots of MZ's in this small town. But I doubt it. I am sure everyone I know will here this and they will know who I am and what is happening in my life.

Len Tillem (KGO810) picks up the phone. "We have MZ from L.... on the line. MZ tell me why do ya need a lawya."

I freeze. My throat closes up. No No I tell myself. I got this far. I will ask. So I asked about guardianship. I told him only the surface of the issue. He said I don't have enough to go on. I want to tell him more but I realize that I can't do that. Someone might hear me. Someone might know me. And so I let it go. I listen. He tells me, "Forget the guardianship. Help your son get custody. Then help him raise the kid."

After I hang up I realize there were certain details that I omitted that I really should have brought to his attention. Details that would probably have swayed his opinion. I never told him that I care for the kid every time the wind changes direction. In this area, the wind changes direction at least once a week.

Oh well, I did the best I could.

Purple Bears Etc

So now there is a Purple Polar Bear. I'm not kidding. Well, this is Friday, perhaps I am seeing things. You tell me.

No time to write this week. At least no time to write on my weblog. I have a notebook full of this weeks events. None of them are publishable here. Let's just say it's been one of those exhausting family crisis kind of weeks. Now for those of you who are totally curious about this situation, you can rest assured that everyone is still alive and reasonably well. It will get better...It will get better...It will get better.....

The best thing about the week of course is the company of Baby J for the last five days and nights. Who can resist the robust giggles of a 5 month old as he swings the "cat fishing" pole (with the help of Grandma of course) and gleefully watches Rusty trying his best to catch those feathers. It really was a riot. Baby J is just the cutest baby ever. I can say that because wherever we go with him there are always lots of comments to that effect. I insisted to my husband that this is because we are old people and everyone takes a second look at old people who are carrying a baby around. He insists it is not true. Baby J is the bestest.

I could use the baby as an excuse for all I did not accomplish this week. I didn't go to the gym and am now wondering why I paid them all that money. I get a much better workout playing flying baby with a 17 pound kid and pushing the stroller up and down the hills. I didn't do any of my side job work - the clients didn't bring it yet so guess what I'll be doing this week. I have not stuck to my diet and must weigh in tomorrow. The Ben & Jerry's habit has to stop ---except for the Oatmeal Cookie flavor - it is truly to die for (and I hate that expression). I didn't visit Uncle M in the nursing in because he insists he is coming home and I told him he is not ready so he's mad at me.

But tonight my husband and I got a brief reprieve. Baby J's parents decided they would be capable of babysitting their kid so we could go out to dinner. Is something amiss here?

Okay enough baby talk - did you check out the purple polar bear yet?

Mutterings Etc

Another super deoderant failure day. I'm suffering from heat exhaustion. And baby exhaustion. Baby J is lots of fun but what a handful. Even though he is the most perfect, best mannered, quiet, calm baby ever, I get exhausted just watching him. He slept all night last night. I slept half the night and watched him sleep the other half of the night.

Said goodbye to my physical therapist today. Seems our adventure is over. The insurance granted me six appointments. The pain is still there. Once again I go back and ask for an MRI (knowing that will not be a cure-all but I still want to know what those discs look like so I know it's not in my head). To top that off our company is probably going to change insurance plans... that's all I need.

In spite of the back pain, I am back at the gym. I must take care of those triceps and biceps by October 4th - you know, the day I must wear a flapper dress.

My sister is working hard at her sewing lessons. She took my scissors in to get them sharpened. Seems they are beyond repair and she was beyond consoling from the embarassment of showing up with those 35 year old paper cutting shears. Well, I know what I'm going to buy with that Joann's gift certificate now. Still looking for the perfect purple flapper material. Still waiting for the pattern to arrive.

Mystery Theatre last night was good for the attire. Flapper attire. Perfect. Now I have more details for my dress. And beads. And hat decor. What was the plot anyway... heck I don't even know what the mystery was.

A bit of mutterings, then I will hit the pool for the old ladies swim hour...Promise, we won't bark and howl tonight while doing the doggy paddle.

1. Wizard of Oz:: Dorothy
   
2. Ford:: my first car
   
3. Wrinkles:: yes I have them
   
4. Extravagant:: fancy
   
5. Conventional:: normal
   
6. Stewart:: Martha
   
7. Offensive:: defensive
   
8. Heartbeat:: in a
   
9. Chaos:: my life
   
10. Jiffy:: Pop
    

Saturday Stuff

After frantically collecting all the proper red hat stuff, I did enjoy the RHS Molls picnic today.

It has been a busy week and also a sad week. Baby J's other grandma died on Friday. Baby J is handling it okay and gets to sample some solid foods.

The circulating journal has been dispatched to Hestia in Texas.

We are all suffering from the heat wave and waiting for a break. Felt as though we were back east last night with all the humidity. At least we have a bit of a breeze today.

More Fish Story

July 9th I said the fish disappeared. They didn't really. It got hot. They got too warm. They are at the bottom of the pool. The pond lady and my husband are going fishing tomorrow. I can see it now... Fishnets, rubber wadders, goggles, splashing in the dark green algae. "I just know they are there..."

Other stuff:
I found a pattern for the flapper dress at Patternworks.com Went shopping for purple fabric for the dress. No luck today. Just not inspired. However, I did find all sorts of other things to do. No, not yet, I have a trunk full of projects not even started.

I'm off to the gym for visit with my personal trainer. Gonna see if she can turn these wimpy arms into something worth showing in my flapper dress. But, my back is killing me from babysitting the last two days. Baby J is 17 pounds heavy.

Nimptopsical

Ben Franklin used this word in his list of 227 terms for the word Drunk

Hello

Hello to my fans Dick & Ann

Red Hat Murder Mystery Dinner

I have big ideas for the Murder Mystery Dinner I will attend in October. First of all, I must go as an official RHS Moll. Not a gun moll, More of a 20’s flapper moll. I already found the perfect red flapper hat complete with purple feather.

Next on the list is the flapper dress. I checked out all the Butterwick, Vogue, McCalls, and Simplicity patterns at my local fabric store and can’t find one that I like. Now doing some research on the internet. If anyone has a good pattern, I sure could use it. Thanks to my big brother I now have the funds to select the perfect purple fabric. Now all I need to do is oil the old Kenmore sewing machine, sharpen my high school home economics sewing scissors that have been used for the last 30 years for paper cutting, stock up on straight pins, and find out if I still know how to sew (I could ask my sister for help since she is taking lessons).

Then comes the body. Will use sun block the rest of the summer to get rid of farmer arms. If this fails, I’ll have to part with $30 and place my naked body in one of those tiny cubicles for a fake all over mist tan. I’ll have to spend extra time at the gym to get rid of upper arm flab and fallen knees.

I’m looking for the following items: fishnet stockings, cigarette holder, purple boa, red/purple bead necklaces, fur coat.

I have 3 months to do all this. I will not procrastinate. I will not procrastinate...

Where did all the fish go?

We had a swimming pool for 30 years. We got tired of it. A couple years ago we drained it with a plan to have it buried or removed. Meanwhile things got a bit unsettled in our household and the pool was quickly forgotten. Over the first winter the rains filled it up. Last spring my oldest son threw in a catfish and several goldfish. The goldfish thrived in the swampy green water, sucking up algae and cleaning the surface of mosquito larva... a good thing. A couple of weeks ago I gave up counting over 200 baby fish.

A friend of ours built a fish pond just for these prize fish. She was eager and ready for transfer a couple of days ago. We went out and bought the appropriate fishing gear, a simple net. The pool was too quiet when we approached the edge the next night. Not one fish could be seen. So we figured it was too late in the evening; they must all be asleep at the bottom.

The next morning we returned. Still no fish to be seen. We stirred up the water. Not even a glimpse of gold. We waited for the afternoon sunshine. They always surfaced to bask in the shallow end near the steps on hot sunny days. Not this time.

There are raccoons in the neighborhood. There are six cats residing in the back yard. But these furry friends are all unlikely suspects. The cats are well fed, seem to only hunt an occasional bird or mouse, and are terrified of the pool. The raccoons eat the cat food and haven't been near the pool since one of their buddies drowned in it a few years back (that's another story).

Perhaps the Canadian geese spotted them on the way to the reservoir and stopped off for a quick picnic. Maybe there was a hungry egret. Maybe there was a rubber booted biped lurking about.

While we are sad that the fish didn't get to live in their new pond, we are even sadder that we missed the show.

Of course we will be draining the pool again soon but we will watch out for that catfish lurking at the bottom. He must be three feet long by now... to be continued.