Aging Vanities

My Life in Vanities

Child: A small dressing table - dainty pink flowered curtains gathered around drawers and stool underneath - Hand held mirror perched up against the wall - Brush, comb and barrettes and pony tail bands - Empty miniature perfume bottles, candy lipstick, powder box with a huge powder puff like mom’s, tissues and a small bottle of Jergens lotion - A lipstick and matching nail polish kit given to me by Aunt Dorothy, all shades of red, never used because Mom said I was too young for that - Big bottle of bitter tasting Iron tonic.

Early Teen: Dresser top, mirror on the wall - Unused Avon miniature lipsticks in all shades of pink suitable for young teenager according to Mom - Pink sponge rollers and plastic head bands and bandanas - Double edged razor hidden from Mom under un-ironed blue gym suit - Huge box of Kotex hidden under pajamas in dresser drawer - Midol.

Sweet 16: Same dresser and mirror - Unused Avon miniature lipsticks in rose colors suitable for sweet sixteen year olds according to Mom - 2 Inch coil rollers with picks, sleep cap, aqua net hair spray, Hooded hair dryer, Sun-In Hair Color and elastic headbands - Baby oil & Iodine - Noxema, Lip Gloss, and Mascara - Nair - Teenage Tampax. Midol.

Newly married: Lighted mirror - Chanel # 5 - Whipped Massage Crème - Heated Rollers - Bonneted hair dryer - Ash blond hair color - Coppertone tanning lotion - Red lipstick suggested by husband but never used - Mary Kay Cosmetics - Bikini Wax and Electric Razor - Super Tampax - Hangover bitters and Birth control pills.

Not Quite 40: Opium perfume - Vanilla Massage Lotion - Blow dryer, no curlers - Streaks & Highlighters - Sprintz, Gels and sprays - SPF 15 - Clinique cosmetics and a teetering stack of tiny Dramatically Difference Moisturizer bottles - Neutral lipstick - Antidepressants.

Over 50: Magnifying mirror - Extra moisture balancing lotion - Hair color suitable for covering gray - Sun hats - SPF 30 - Lancome aging formula - Wrinkle Crème - Fade resistant lipstick – Hormones - Minipads.

Coming Soon: Too much of any perfume - Therapeutic Lotion - Bobbi pins - SPF 80 - Ponds Cold Crème – Chapstick - Baby aspirin - Diapers.


His Life in Vanities:

Teenage: Razors - Rubbers
Newlywed: Razors – Rubbers - Vitamin E
Middle Age: Razors – Rubbers - Vitamin E - Flax Seed Oil
Geezer: Razors – Diapers - Nose/Ear Hair remover – Rogaine - Tucks - Gold Bond Powder - Viagra