Hot and Cold

A week ago the weather was hot. Shirt sleeve, I wanna lay out in the sun all day, hot. Saturday night it got cold. Freezing cold. I tried to turn on the furnace. Nothing. Checked the pilot light. Nothing. Got out the matches, flashlight, removed the panels (okay I supervised as hubby removed the panels. We both crawled around on opposite sides - it's a wall furnace - ancient. Needless to say there was no way the pilot light would stay on.

The biggest problem was that Baby J was visiting us. I bundled him up as best I could and spent the night getting up every few minutes to cover him up.

Sunday morning I called PG&E. Four menu options later with explanations that they were overloaded with calls and it would be necessary for me to leave my number, I punched in the numbers. I waited around for them to call back. They didn't Monday morning I went out for an appointment. They called back. Left message for me to call them back. I did. Repeat from Four menu options... I called the emergency number. "State your emergency," an authoritarian voice practically yelled in my ear.

"I can't light my pilot light." I heard the sigh and the beginning of the usual speel about this not being an emergency. Before she got two words out of her mouth I gave her an earful about having an infant in the house and not getting any sleep, etc etc. She said hold on a minute and connected me to the Four menu option sequence.

No I was really railed up and called customer service billing department. The young lady on the phone apologized and said she would transfer me to the correct department. Before I could retort I was back at the four menu options. This time I went through them and actually got put on hold - for 30 minutes. It was suggested that I buy a portable heating unit. I carefully explained to the young lady that I had already do that and it blew my circuits (which is true - more about that later). I told her about the infant and not getting any sleep. She suggested I buy him some warm pajamas and gave me an appointment for nine days later - well not really an appointment, a 8am to 9pm window of time. Okay so I take Wednesday off or beg my manager to let PG&E in. I opted for that.

The manager was outraged that PG&E wouldn't come. She asked me if I told them that I smelled gas. That always gets them out. I told her yes, but I didn't do that because I just can't stand to be that dishonest. So she agreed to have someone come out and take care of the matter.

Meanwhile I informed the manager that my circuits tripped everywhere I plugged in the ceramic heater. She said I shouldn't be using one of those in my apartment. A year ago when my circuits were tripping I was told my hair dryer was too powerful and to go out and buy a reasonable wattage hair dryer. Have you seen a hair dryer with less than 1600 watts lately? Anyway I got all the circuits tripped back and off I went to work.

Came home at noon and found the refrigerator circuit tripped. Tried to trip it back. No luck. Spent 30 minutes running back and forth between the circuit breakers and the kitchen. Returned to the office, sweat pouring down my face, in spite of it being 48 degrees outside. Exhausted, hungry, I called the manager and informed her that my refrigerator seems to be tripping the circuits and would she please try to straighten it out before my ice cream melted. Also reminded her about the furnace and that maybe I wouldn't need a refrigerator anyway.

Came home from work to find refrigerator running. An hour later the refrigerator shut down. Good excuse to polish off that carton of Ben and Jerry's double chocolate whammy, or whatever you call it. Just enough to fire me up some more. Knocked on managers door. She gave me the key to a vacant apartment with an empty fridge. I hauled 4 loads of slightly thawed Lean Cuisine and frozen vegetables up the stairs and across the landing. A new refrigerator is coming at the end of the week.

Everyone I talked to said a new refrigerator won't fix the problem. It's a simple matter of changing the breakers. I asked my boss. I asked my uncle. They all say it's the breakers. I tried to tell the manager. She insisted I need a new refrigerator. So I'm not arguing - the old one dehydrates my ice cubes anyway.

Went out this evening. Came home to nice toasty warm apartment. Hmmmmmm. Magic? Checked the fridge - still dark.