Mutterings, Funerals, Etc

Yesterdays funeral for the other grandma was a completely new experience for us. First of all it was at a church located at the worst possible intersection in East Oakland. It was rather difficult to be inconspicuous on this particular occasion. We were the palest people in the neighborhood.

We settled in the back row not wanting to cause any consternation with the rest of the congregation. The church was sparse. There was not a hymnal in sight, no need here, they all know their gospel songs. No air conditioning. just square cardboard fans supplied from the local funeral parlors. The walls were bare except for a couple of faded Jesus pictures. There was no organist or pianist. They didn't need either.



The mother of our grandson has tried to explain to us that they have a different way of addressing funerals than we do. This is based on her attendance at two of our family "funerals" that we experienced a few months ago. These were not necessarily official "white" funerals. They were both celebrations of life done in the style the deceased requested, not characteristic of most white people funerals or memorials.

The service was a lengthy affair, almost 3 hours. While I never knew the other grandma well as her health was failing by the time I met her, I learned that she was a dearly loved woman with a heart that touched all of her four sisters and brother as well as the children and grandchildren of each. She was a loving mother and did the best she could. She had a hard life.

I was very impressed with the preacher. His message was lengthy but relevant to the situation. Here was a person who had survivied the the gutters of the streets, emerging with a purpose in life. A purpose to help others keep from straying into those paths. He had a powerful message, the kind only possible by one who has "been there and done that." My comment to my family when it was over, "you know that one sermon had a more profound effect on me than any that my own father ever preached." Strange that I would find this in a place that I would never have dared to visit.

One other thing, I have never felt as welcomed by a family as I was yesterday. There were no boundaries of prejudice here. It's just one more example how our experience of a mixed race grandson has brought us new understanding and a new level of compassion.

1. Partner:: ship
   
2. Goddess:: green
   
3. Village:: idiot
   
4. Relationships:: couples
   
5. Irrational:: insane
   
6. Volcano: erupts
   
7. Fabulous:: Fifties
   
8. Unencumbered:: free
   
9. Coyotes:: howls
   
10. Fulfilled:: happy