1. Step off curb, body pitches forward full speed.
2. Reach for head with right hand so hat won't fly off and reveal hat hair.
3. Stick left hand out in front so face doesn't skid across pavement.
4. Land on left hand and right knee.
5. Sit in middle of intersection thankful for the visual barricade of half a dozen ladies dressed in bright purple with red hats.
6. Assess within seconds that nothing is broken but pride.
7. Jump up and pretend everything is cool.
8. Limp 2 blocks to original lunch destination and collapse into chair.
9. Clean up and apply bandages assuring everyone all is okay.
9. Whisper to waiter that you could use a bag of ice.
10. Walk in front of everyone when leaving restaurant to hide pants now soaked by melted ice pack.
11. Insist that another two block walk won't be a problem and promise not to fall down again.
12. Try to figure out why right shoulder still has a kink three days later.
I'm fine. Really.
1 week ago