Don't Do This To Your Tax Preparer

Well it’s tax time again. In a recent purging of files from twenty years in the tax preparation business, I came across some file notes justifying increased fees. So here it is – a list of some things you can do to annoy your tax preparer so you can support his or her early retirement.

1. Client dropped off a shoebox full of receipts with a note “call me when it’s done.”
2. Client was late for his tax appointment
3. Client called on April 14th
4. Client called ten times with missing information
5. Client brought two year old to appointment
6. Client had his return prepared by another preparer and wanted me to find the mistakes
7. Client called to change information after the return had been processed
8. Client didn’t show up on the correct day
9. Client gave me a the flu
10. Client neglected to complete the organizer I provided
11. Client lost his W-2 forms… or 1099 forms
12. When client was asked how much he donated last year he found the numbers on my ceiling
13. Client didn’t speak English
14. Client worked in three different states
15. Client sold stock and has no clue what he paid for it
16. Clients check bounced last year
17. Client refused to hand over her 1099 forms and insisted in reading off each box and number
18. Client bought into 10 limited partnerships without warning me
19. Client stuffed info for each line of her return into individual envelopes and insisted on opening each one during the appointment, reading off the numbers and then re-stuffing
20. Client stuck all her receipts in individual envelopes for each line of the return but then asked me to run an adding machine tape for each group
21. Client doused herself with stinky perfume (I had to air our my office for 3 days after that)
22. Client called twelve times during the year to have her taxes estimated
23. Client insisted I explain every entry on his return
24. Client expected me to recite the tax code for every other entry on his return
25. Client got stuck in my driveway and had to call a tow truck
26. Client asked me to make up numbers and then wanted to know why I was so conservative
27. Client insisted he drove his car 110% for business
28. Client didn’t pay his estimated taxes
29. Client forgot to tell me he got a divorce
30. Client started a business and mixed all her business expenses in with her personal expenses and insisted on sorting it out during our appointment
31. Client wanted me to come to her house and sort through her records
32. Client prepared her own return and asked me to fix it
33. Client barfed on my carpet when I told her how much she owed the IRS
34. Clients cousin works for the IRS

I could continue but I've got to go do my taxes.