Why on earth would a Grandma have a mug with a Smith & Wesson logo? Here’s a short version of a long story.
A few years ago a less than undesirable character seemed to think he had cause to harass my family. The local police department didn’t show much interest in this matter as there was inadequate evidence to substantiate my claim; in other words, the guy had not carried out his threats, yet. So I determined I would have to take matters into my own hands. First stop, the local gun shop.
When I expressed my plight to a big burly guy behind the gun counter, he assured me he had the appropriate weapon for eliminating “Giant Termites.” He turned around and selected a shotgun off the rack behind him. “This would probably be your best choice. Most “Termites” recognize the sound of this and will disappear when they here it.” He cocked the gun. My husband nodded his approval.
But, I had my eye on the shiny pistols in the gun case and my imagination ran wild with visions of me, dressed up in the likes of Annie Oakley, opening the front door with a big old pistol resting on my hip. “What about one of those?” I asked the clerk.
“Well that would do it all right. But it would take some practice. I just happen to teach a class…”
I filled out the paperwork, passed the six-question gun ownership test, and signed up for the class. After the obligatory three-day wait period and the determination by my state that I wasn’t a felon or mentally ill, I picked up my new Lady Smith & Wesson 357, attended the classes and received an official certificate declaring I was now an expert in gun safety and marksmanship.
My prized possession was a target poster, full of holes, bulls-eye holes, smack dab in the center of the chart. I hung it on my front door.
The “Giant Termite” got the message. Haven’t seen him since.
Oh yeah, the mug – it was a Christmas present I found under the tree addressed to Annie Oakley
No comments:
Post a Comment