Authentic Self

Following the Dr. Phil show on Friday night, I decided this would be the weekend to reveal my “authentic self.” If that lady in his audience could actually go back stage, remove her make up, and return to the stage sans even a hint of powder, so can I… in my own neighborhood.

I have often been told, “you should wear a little makeup.” The truth is, I do wear makeup. The label on my foundation bottle clearly says Clinique Soft Finish Makeup. I apply it every morning before anyone sees me, hiding a red nose and smoothing out the slightly uneven skin tones earned by 53 years of sunshiny lifestyle. My standard everyday, don’t-go-out-without-it makeup routine also includes a quick puff of Lancome Matte Clair II Dual Finish powder, and a brush of Clinique Honey Blush.

But, it seems to me this is not what is technically referred to as “makeup.” To be properly made up I would need to bring out the other essentials -the stuff that comes with those special gift promotions. I’ll admit that I only purchase my Lancome and Clinique products when I get something for free. There are dozens of colorful purse size cosmetic cases loaded with cosmetic brushes, mirrors, shadows, eyeliners, eyebrow pencils, mascaras, lip glosses, lipsticks as well as lotions, potions, wrinkle remover crème, body lotion, cologne, makeup remover and other assorted whatnot buried behind the toilet paper in my bathroom cabinet. Very few of these freebies make it past the first trial use and into my basket of satisfactory daily enhancements. These I use with a delicate touch here and there in what I deem to be a natural look for me. When I remember, I use a neutral color lipstick. That’s it. A simple five-minute routine.

Okay, so back to baring it all. Yesterday, without one drop of any makeup whatsoever, I went to the post office, walked around my neighborhood, stopped off at the bank, went out to lunch in a nice restaurant, shopped at Costco, had coffee at Starbucks, shopped at CompUSA and checked out a couple of estate sales. I didn’t see anyone give me a second glance and heard absolutely no comments.

I was feeling pretty brave about it all and headed to McDonalds for dinner. That’s when I ran into someone I knew. I swear she was giving me one of those once over looks. I could read her mind. I blurted out something to the effect, “oh my god - I didn’t think I would run into someone I knew today - I’ve been so busy doing things - um housework and stuff - you know how it is - I must look a terrible wreck.” She looked a little closer. “Well,” she said, “don’t you just hate it when you run into someone you haven’t seen in ages and you get caught on one of your bad days?”

Today, I’m spending that measly five minutes putting on my natural, unauthentic face. I’ll continue to do so until the day that Dr. Phil shaves his mustache and his wife sits in his audience with her authentic face.