Hatpins

Swiped this from somewhere:

NEVER GO WALKING OUT WITHOUT YOUR HAT PIN
A BAWDY COCKNEY SONG

My Granny was a very shrewd old lady,
The smartest woman that I ever met.
She used to say, "Now listen to me, Sadie,
There's one thing that you never must forget."

"Never go walking out without your hat pin.
The law won't let you carry more than that.
For if you go walking out without your hat pin,
You may lose your head as well as lose your hat.

"My Granny said men never could be trusted.
No matter how refined they might appear.
She said that many maidens' hearts got busted
Because men never had but one idea.

I've heard that Grandpa really was a mess,
So Grandma knew whereof she spoke, I guess.

Never go walking out without your hat pin.
Not even to some very classy joints.
For when a fellow sees you've got a hat pin
He's very much more apt to get the point.

My Mama, too, set quite a bad example.
She never heeded Grandmama's advice.
She found that if you give a man a sample,
The sample somehow never does suffice.

In fact, it's rumored I might not have been
If Mum had not gone out without her pin.

Never go walking out without your hat pin.
It's about the best protection you have got.
For if you go walking out without your hat pin,
You may come home without your you-know-what!