For the Birds

My neighbors have bird feeders. My cats sit way in the corner, craning their necks, peering with salivatious eyes out my window. So a week ago I decided I would treat the cats to their own private bird watching area. Off to Target I went for the bestest bird feeder in the store. After all I wanted to make sure the birds would find my feeder more attractive than my neighbors.

But, there were so many feeders, an entire aisle devoted to birds. I strolled up and down studying each feeder, each pack of birdseed, reading all the labels. Mind you, I know nothing about birds. Can't tell the difference between a canary and a parakeet. It was all way to confusing so I opted for the easy way out. I bought one of those Gourmet Birdseed Snackbars, the kind you just hang on the tree branch. The label said it would attract all varieties of birds.

Just happened to have one of those plant poles that loop around with a hook for hanging plants, a reasonable place to hang the Gourmet treat. Hung it up and waited all evening. Not one bird, except of course at the neighbor's. Finally gave up and went to bed. Woke up at 6am hearing lots of chirping outside my window. Looked out. No birds. But, 1/4 of the Gourmet treat was gone. Watched all through breakfast. One small brown bird with a black necklace came and took a couple of pecks. Nothing more.

Next morning, half the treat was gone.

Next morning, three quarters of the treat was gone.

Following morning, not even a trace of the holder hung on the stand. I went out to check and found the dregs of the treat bar on the ground. Now what on earth could be smart enough to pull that loop over the top of the plant stand and bring it down to the ground?

Today I am going out to buy a squirrel feeder. The cats love to watch their bushy little tails vibrate; they will like it better than the birds. My neighbors will like me better because the squirrels will stay away from their bird feeders.