How NOT to celebrate someone's birthday:
Make reservations at well established restaurant in town. Forget to take into consideration that said restaurant might have hired a rude and arrogant waiter to their staff since your last visit twenty some years ago.
Make the mistake of overlooking the first inane comment made by waiter as we are seated at our table.
Err again by not requesting a new waiter as our waiter delivers drink served "over", not "up" as clearly ordered, along with his comment about not being able to please some people.
Not heed the suspicion that nothing will be right once the salad arrives with Roquefort instead of blue cheese (yes there is a difference), and the escargot appetizer arrives after the salad (yes the waiter did tell us that that is the way HE would serve our meal since the escargot take 20 minutes and we didn't call ahead to order it like we should have).
Lapse into complete denial when waiter delays bringing bib for cioppino recipient meanwhile asking why she doesn't at least taste the sauce while he fusses over getting cork out of wine bottle.
Further exacerbate the problem by holding out for dessert which is delivered by waitress since waiter figures out he has some sort of conflict with our table.
Actually staying for the entire meal and not walking out while waiter delivers the check and makes feeble attempt to apologize cause it finally dawns on him that maybe he is the problem.
Final straw: Taking birthday girl to see Carrie Snow... stand up comedian who can't seem to get through two lines without referring to her notes and best line is delivered while she is standing up on her head. hmmmmmmmmmmm.