In the News

Hey I got in the newspaper yesterday!!!! I'm the one in the middle. That's one of my best friends on the left and my son's mother in law on the right. We were having a delicious luncheon with my Red Hat Society chapter.

Wikipedia

Oh no, another source for reading, writing and wasting time. Check it out. Now we can all become Wikipedians. Now would I do such a thing???

Retail Therapy

Had to do it. Had to go shopping. Just had to have a TravelDrive. Why? Just because I have to have all the gadgets. Amazing how this little tiny device, smaller than my car remote, can hold more information than that huge drive that existed in my first computer. More than a floppy four times it's size. And I can plug it in anywhere. No excuse now... don't even have to drag my computer around.

But I didn't stop there. Just had to have a new sweater to wear next weekend to the Red Hat Razzle Dazzle in Sacramento. Had to use that 10% off coupon that was in the paper this morning. Just had to do it.

Wouldn't you know, my favorite underwear was on sale too. Just in time. I'll spare the details. I just had to do it.

200 Things

Just realized that I may not need to write my memoirs.... Bold or not-which is me? And now I know what I have missed... or what is yet to be done.

From RealizeIt

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer.
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it.
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class8
8. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
115. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read,
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them.
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions.
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

SH doesn't mean what you think it does

It was pointed out to me recently that perhaps I should not refer to hubby as SH. Well, in case you haven't read my blog in it's entirety (and I don't know why anyone could possibly want to miss a single episode of this drivel), a while back I shared that my husband has been dubbed with an indian name.... Snorting Hog. He is not offended. He kind of likes it. Now for those of you who think SH has a more demeaning definition....... would I really do that to him????

My Siblings are Showing Their Ages

Ha ha - my little sister got her first gray hair. Did she pluck it? No way. She thinks she has earned it. Just wait til she gets a few more. We all know how they multiply right? Anyway I'm putting a sympathy card in the mail to her today.

Found out why I suffered from chest pains a couple of weeks ago. They were sympathy pains. Big brother was suffering from chest pains and ended up having some "arterial" work. Hey big brother.... didn't I tell you to eat your oat bran?

OK... I'm going to hide for a while. Just in case they seek revenge.

Memoir Again

Last night there was a memoir class. Well it was sort of a memoir class. The newspaper article said that a published author would present five easy steps to writing your memoir. Even though the only published book I could find for this author was a children's book, I figured it wouldn't hurt to check it out. So I did.

I was greeted by an elderly man, whom I will call Bob. Since there were only three other people there, all female, it was safe to assume that Bob would be our instructor. One of the women turned out to be the author's wife, the other two were a mother and daughter team.

The five us gathered around a small table in the back of a used bookstore, surrounded by ceiling high shelves of musty old books. On the table were a few books about writing, publishing, and grammar as well as a few self-published (vanity press) books by our author friend and his wife.
After a short introduction Bob hands us a lesson sheet. First on the agenda, draw a footprint of the house where you grew up. "Which one?" I ask. "There must have been at least eight of them."

"Pick any one. It doesn't matter for this exercise." He says.

And so I start to draw the plans for our old farmhouse in Marne. That is, I draw the layout of the first floor including the location of the stairs. Bob announces "Time's up."

We go around the table and talk about what memories have surfaced with these drawings. I say, "I fell down those stairs once, the milkman came to the kitchen door every week and gave me a small plastic charm, and I can't remember anything about the upstairs except that I had a small room on the right side of the staircase."

Bob says, "that's okay. You will remember as you write your memoir." I wonder if that's a guarantee.

Bob gives us a few more suggestions about writing, explains print on demand and vanity publishing, reads the first chapter from his memoir and then thanks us for coming.

I leave thinking... I'm not sure what Bob's 5 easy steps are.I think I have written more than anyone else who was there. Anyone can publish anything if they have enough money.Why bother?

I get home and dig out every piece of my writing that I can find including all my old journals, weblogs, Themestream articles, and college essays. Three hours later I have weeded out all the things that are fiction or detrimental to other's well being if published. I end up with 52 pages, completely boring. Why bother?

Democrats

SH stands in front of his favorite cafe while we were in the San Juans. Careful Big Brother... wouldn't want you to have a heart attack over this.

Part 2 I Am A Fanataneatisolic

Note: Read Part 1 below first

I am MZ and I am a Fanataneatisolic. I absolutely must have everything and everyone in its or their place at all times. Nothing out of order. Not a speck on the wall or floor. This chair I am sitting in tonight is reserved for me. No one in this meeting would dare to take my place. Third chair from the right in the 2nd row every Tuesday, rain or shine, holiday, birthday, anniversary, it doesn't matter. This program has saved my life.

I'm here to share my experience, strength and hope so here it goes.

I got married at a young age, only 20. But it was the thing to do. I wanted to be just like Mom. Get married, have kids, be a housewife. It didn't exactly work out that way.

I got married and got a husband who threw his dirty clothes on the bedroom floor every night. And, every morning I promptly picked them up and deposited them into the hamper. His hamper, not mine. No way I could make it to the bathroom or coffee pot without picking up that stuff. Straightening the bathroom towels, seeing the toilet paper was hanging exactly one inch from the bottom of the roll, putting the cap on the toothpaste and lining up the toothbrushes were automatic pilot tasks. Then the coffee, beans ground perfectly fine, filter placed with wrinkles evenly distributed, matching coffee mugs. Exhausted before I even dressed for work.

Then one day I couldn't do it anymore. I left the clothes on the floor and marched into the bathroom. It was all I could do not to pick them up. The piles got taller each day. By laundry day, I had to climb over the massive piles with my own personal laundry hamper to make my way to the washer. Result: very upset husband that his laundry didn't make it into the laundry room. The next week he picked up his clothes.

Gradually I gave up the other habits, letting things fall wherever. It drove me to near complete insanity, to the point that I had to wear imaginary blinders when I walked through the house. I absolutely couldn't stand to be within those walls anymore. I needed help. You can't change others, only yourself. So today I sit in this chair. I follow the twelve steps.

1. I admitted I was powerless over the misplaced items and my life had become unmanageable.

2. I came to believe that a higher power could help me

3. I made a decision to let him

4. I stomped all over the inventory (misplaced items)

5. I called charitable organizations to pick up the inventory

6. I humbly asked for less stuff

7. I got less stuff

8. I made a list of stuff I walked all over

9. I promised not to do it again

10. Today I do these things every day

11. I consciously walk over the stuff

12. I tell others that I don't care where they throw their stuff

And now some promises are coming true. I have less stuff and more money. I live alone so whatever stuff there is, happens to be my own stuff. I don't fear tripping over stuff anymore. I intuitively know to stay away from other peoples stuff. I'm not baffled, just alone. Is this an extravagance? I think not. It's exactly what I asked for.

When the basket comes around, kindly place your clean, crisp one dollar bills in an even stack with the "In God We Trust" side up.

Keep coming back but don't you dare sit in this chair, the third chair from the right in the second row. It's mine...

Part 1 Behaviorial Names

After my first writing class yesterday, I was going through some old stuff that I had written looking for somewhere to start on my memoire. Found this one that I wrote a couple of years ago and it seems amusing now. Funny what resides on my computer that I forget about. Anyway, it was written from a prompt to "write about behaviors".

I hate it when I open my big mouth and tell someone something I should just keep to myself. Not those things I say in meetings. That is where those kinds of things are meant to be shared. I mean the things I talk about like gossip. Gossiping about other people and then turning around and gossiping about those people to someone else. Perhaps it's not really gossiping. Gossip is more of a rumor by my definition. But then the dictionary says it is also talk of a personal, sensational or intimate nature. Name for this behavior: RUMORIST

Next, why must I always arrive exactly on time? No one else is as prompt as I am. I end up waiting, wasting time. Well, is it as waste of time. Some say it is God's gift, a few moments to use perhaps in idle daydreaming. But instead I get angry. It's like the person that keeps me waiting doesn't think my time is as valuable as theirs. Name for this behavior: HURRY-UP-ANGER

Impatience is another one. I absolutely can't stand to be in line and have some idiot in front of me counting out pennies at the grocery store, perusing the entire menu at a fast food restaurant, making multiple transactions during lunch hour at the bank, pasting stamps on envelopes one by one at the postage counter instead of moving to the side table, reading the newspapers at the racks in my way, etc etc. All these moments. Like the hurry-up-anger behavior except that it's just people being in front of me probably unaware of their imposition. Name for this behavior: DISIMPOSTIONALISM

How about the having everything perfect behavior? Everything matching, clean, in order. Not a hair out of place. Clothes pressed and matched. Socks paired and sorted by color. Dishes that match. Silverware that matches, no stray spoons or forks. Complete sets or replace the entire set. No chips, cracks or discolorations for me. Towels that match bathroom rugs. Pillowcases much match sheets and go with the bed covers. Drawers and cabinets tightly shut. Blinds even. Shoes lined up in closet (well sometimes I don't do that). Perfectionism is too mild a word for this, so is compulsiveness. How about FANATANEATISHMENT.

ER

I didn't want to go. I procrastinated. I procrastinated for 12 hours. And then I called the doc. He said, "either you call 911 or we will." So I went. 3 tries before the an IV success, xrays, oxygen, ekg, ecocardiogram, treadmill and 4 Hours later I leave with a prescription for Prilosec. Oh well, at least it wasn't a heart attack.

The cardiologist says to me, "are you under any stress?" My response... "Isn't everyone?" Then he starts telling me all about the stress in his life. I should be a therapist. I should get paid for listening to him.

And do I feel any better. Not.

Hurricanes

It seems that a relative of a relative wasn't so lucky. Heck of a way to get your picture on the front page. We are happy to hear that nobody was hurt.

Stuff

Was shopping on Piedmont Avenue a couple of weeks ago and found these cards that are way toooooo funny. Check it out here.

It's sad. Summer is almost over. I know it's not officially over until Sept 22 at 11:30am CDT but it's Labor Day Weekend. It's the weekend I always spending dwelling on what I didn't do during the summer. I must remember that there is still time. And the good thing about it all is... kids are in school!

Just got the news. I've been accepting into a writing class!!! Starting next Friday. That's a good thing. I've been lazy about writing lately. Will be working with Linda Joy Myers. Well now I know what I'm doing with the rest of my day.... must gather together some of my stuff.

Is This True?

You're an Angst writer!

What kind of writer are you?