Cleanliness Is Next To…

A while back while on a quest for products to do the annual obligatory spring cleaning, I started my search with window cleaner in the aisle of Target, I heard a voice behind me. It was kind of an anonymous whisper, “Vinegar.” I turned around to see a 50ish kind of woman with long graying hair. In defiance I picked up the manufactured window cleaner containing ammonia and who knows what else that is bad for you.

Around the corner, I sought out bathroom cleaner. The voice again behind me squeaked, “Vinegar.” I recognized the plaid flannel shirt and worn out jean and shoved a can of aerosoled bathroom cleaner into the basket. I threw in some extra strength toilet bowl cleaner for good measure.

The shelves on the next aisle held a broad assortment of kitchen cleaners. I wanted something all purpose. Behind me again, I heard “Vinegar.” The voice was a bit louder and more persistent this time. I didn’t bother to look at the perpetrator and instead grabbed two bottles of bleach scented kitchen cleaners… one for counters and a stronger one for floors.

Pet odor eliminator was next on the list and the orange scented spray bottle of deodorizer seemed like it might do the trick. BUT, there she was right behind me. This time I beat her to it. “Vinegar,” I blurted out. She rolled her eyes in response and taunted, “No, baking soda.”

Funny thing, spring cleaning has been a slow process this year. Part of the reasoning is that I work fewer hours at “paying” work so now the house work doesn’t need to be a frantic weekend activity. Instead, I have a commitment to do at least one task on that spring cleaning list every day off from work. The list sits on the edge of the desk, most of the easy ones having already been tackled. What leaped out at me today was the dreaded window cleaning. Unfortunately, when I checked out the cleaning supply cabinet, I found someone had raided it. The ammonia cleaner was gone. The voice came back… “Vinegar.” Knowing a trip to the store would sabotage the agenda, I looked for a recipe on the internet: 1/4 cup undiluted white vinegar, 1 tbsp cornstarch, 1 quarter warm water to be applied with a spray bottle and wiped dry with crumpled newspaper. With Monday newspaper short on pages and the Sunday news long gone to the recycle bin, I didn’t get far. The patio door and three kitchen windows are indeed streakless but with my new excuse of environmental consciousness, I refuse to get into the paper towels.

Now would someone please tell me how to get the newspaper ink out from under my fingernails?