Warning - this could be offensive to some - its all in fun

Who took the color out of Christmas? Driving down the streets of my little city last night I noticed it again. Just like last year. All the storefronts, center dividers and trees are adorned with sparkly white lights. Not one bulb of color in the neighborhood. It’s been this way for several years now. Some decision made by the powers that be in this town.

The kid in me wants to rebel. I could hoc my house and rent a storefront just for the month of December. Smack in the middle of the main drag.

First thing, I’d place one of those big ugly Santa balloons on the rooftop. Might as well direct a spotlight on him too. Put Rudolph right up there next to him and be sure to light up his big red nose. Stick old Frosty the Snow Man up there while I’m at it… maybe I could light up his carrot nose a bright orange and give him a glowing fluorescent green scarf.

Next I’d find the biggest and ugliest artificial green tree to place in the center of my display window. It would be buried under several dozen strings of colored lights, not the little twinkly lights they sell these days but the big old fashioned egg sized ones that burn hot and bright. Top it off with a good smoothering of icycles and silver garlands to help reflect the color.

There will be a backdrop of sparkly gold stars against a royal blue sky perhaps edged with red and white candy cane lights.

Under the tree little toy trains, the electric kind, all the cars painted bright red and green, would cycle through blinking red and green signal lights glowing against cotton balls of snow.

A trio of Christmas carolers would stand next to the tree, each brightly illuminated to show off their colorful clothes from hat to boots. I’ll string a band of fluorescent blue notes above their heads.

They make everything to light up these days. Maybe I could find some bright red poinsettia plant lights to place under the windows decked with boughs of green holly, entwined with shiny red jingle bells.

Lest anyone might miss this most colorful display, I’d have a sandwich board sign in the middle of the sidewalk with blatant red and green neon lights of flashing arrows.

And when the powers that be show up, I’d have an extra special treat for them…
right over my lily white rear end there would be one tiny little sprig of mistletoe.