Each key on the keyring represents an area of responsibility

(daily prompt from Blogfodder)
My keyring is so heavy that it once broke the ignition switch on my old car. My coats all have holes in the pockets from those jagged key edges. I carry a big purse just to tote my keys. But, I am responsible. For what?

Two for the front door (must have those deadbolts you know), at least I'm not homeless
One for the pool, I might swim someday
One for the home mail box, which remains empty of anything but junk mail
One for the P O box, because I might not live in the same place forever
Two for the door at work, I really do work
One for the work P O box, could keep this in my desk
Two for my sons back door, cause I might have to feed the cats
One for my sisters door, cause I might have to feed the cat
One for my uncles door, cause sometimes he doesn't answer his phone
One for my husbands car, cause once in a while my car needs gas so I take his
One for my luggage, that I use about once a year
One for the fireproof box, you know the kind that if you drop the box on the floor it breaks open anyway
One for the jewelry box, this is really ridiculous, there's nothing worth locking up in there
One for the locker at the gym, that I don't go to anymore
One for the church, where I used to secretary a meeting
One for the roll top desk, that I never lock cause there's nothing in there worth locking up
One for the 357 case, in case that giant termite shows up again
One for the lock on the 357, so I'd have to think twice about it

And then I have the part that detaches from the key ring and saves my ignition switch - the part that holds that extra large car key with the bulky doohickey that opens the doors

And then there is the junk drawer full of discarded responsibilities...

But what about the other stuff that resides on the key ring? Stuff that I must have with me at all times to carry out the unexpected responsibilities. Finger nail clippers, small flashlight, swiss army knife, coin purse, lipstick holder, magnifying glass, good luck charms, the ring I need to drop off at the jewelers, the Weight Watcher star and gold key charms, the rabbits foot, tape measure, thermometer, gps, whistle...

Good Sunday

Had a fantastic day today. Started out with my usual Sunday morning leisurely read of two newspapers, Miss Minnie in my lap, and a big pot of coffee by my side. What could be better?

Stopped by Barnes and Nobles and picked up a couple of books to add to my tower of unread literature. Going to start with The Lovely Bones.

Had lunch at TGIFridays. Not bad for a chain. I hadn't been there before. Since it was a nice sunny, fairly warm day, lots of people were out strolling the Farmers Market so we had plenty to watch out the window as we ate. Interesting the way some people dress. Makes one wonder if some of them ever look in the mirror. The most amusing outfit was the young lady in the short plaid mini skirt, black tights, leather jacket and fur trimmed eskimo boots. Then there was the semi-plump lady in stretch pants, a tight black sweater and high heels. And then came the lady dressed in a jungle print sweat suit, carrying a giant red plaid tote bag. Now for the men, well across the aisle from us a little girl, about 10 was looking out the other direction, giggling. I chanced a look. The guy who was selling mushrooms outside her window was mooning us. Wonder what was in those mushrooms.

Went to see Chicago. That is one great movie. Gotta buy the CD.

Made Asian Mushroom Soup that was in the USA Today newspaper mag today. It was great. Of course I overdid it a bit throwing in extra mushrooms of three varieties (I didn't buy them from the "moon" guy), a little extra of this and that. Probably didn't resemble the original recipe much but it was good. Looks like I'll be enjoying it for about three days.

No, Rusty, This Site is Not About You

Rusty has been exhibiting a new behavior lately. He exhibits this behavior everytime I sit down at the computer. Okay, for today, I'll play with Rusty and that stupid bird. Gone Cat Fishing... Talk to you later.

Tail Talk

I didn't do my taxes today after all. It's all because of the cats.

Just as I was about to bring out the three inch file of tax stuff, there was a bit of rustling in the kitchen and some unmistakeable howls of the Mr. Rusty variety, the howls of a cat about to pounce on some poor innocent prey. Sure enough there he was positioned at the sliding glass door with Miss Minnie by his side, their tails swiping back and forth like little metronomes. On the other side of the glass, up in the tree branches, about eight feet away from the window, sat our friendly neighborhood squirrel, chattering and sending tail messages back to the cats. Funny just this morning I was thinking about getting a bird feeder to amuse the cats. Now I only had to grab an old corn cob and place it on the patio. I figure it saved me about twenty bucks in cat amusement expenses. The squirrel was content, the cats were entertained.

But what does the tail talk have to do with my inability to face the taxes today? Well if I hadn't stepped out onto the patio and breathed in that refreshing crisp air and felt the invitation of warm rays of sunshine, I wouldn't have been drawn into an outside adventure. The taxes would have been finished. It better rain sometime between now and April 15th.

Don't Do This To Your Tax Preparer

Well it’s tax time again. In a recent purging of files from twenty years in the tax preparation business, I came across some file notes justifying increased fees. So here it is – a list of some things you can do to annoy your tax preparer so you can support his or her early retirement.

1. Client dropped off a shoebox full of receipts with a note “call me when it’s done.”
2. Client was late for his tax appointment
3. Client called on April 14th
4. Client called ten times with missing information
5. Client brought two year old to appointment
6. Client had his return prepared by another preparer and wanted me to find the mistakes
7. Client called to change information after the return had been processed
8. Client didn’t show up on the correct day
9. Client gave me a the flu
10. Client neglected to complete the organizer I provided
11. Client lost his W-2 forms… or 1099 forms
12. When client was asked how much he donated last year he found the numbers on my ceiling
13. Client didn’t speak English
14. Client worked in three different states
15. Client sold stock and has no clue what he paid for it
16. Clients check bounced last year
17. Client refused to hand over her 1099 forms and insisted in reading off each box and number
18. Client bought into 10 limited partnerships without warning me
19. Client stuffed info for each line of her return into individual envelopes and insisted on opening each one during the appointment, reading off the numbers and then re-stuffing
20. Client stuck all her receipts in individual envelopes for each line of the return but then asked me to run an adding machine tape for each group
21. Client doused herself with stinky perfume (I had to air our my office for 3 days after that)
22. Client called twelve times during the year to have her taxes estimated
23. Client insisted I explain every entry on his return
24. Client expected me to recite the tax code for every other entry on his return
25. Client got stuck in my driveway and had to call a tow truck
26. Client asked me to make up numbers and then wanted to know why I was so conservative
27. Client insisted he drove his car 110% for business
28. Client didn’t pay his estimated taxes
29. Client forgot to tell me he got a divorce
30. Client started a business and mixed all her business expenses in with her personal expenses and insisted on sorting it out during our appointment
31. Client wanted me to come to her house and sort through her records
32. Client prepared her own return and asked me to fix it
33. Client barfed on my carpet when I told her how much she owed the IRS
34. Clients cousin works for the IRS

I could continue but I've got to go do my taxes.

Too Many Magazines

Mail today: Backpacker Magazine and AARP newspaper. Both addressed to me. Depressing mail. Why?

I've subscribed to Backpacker Magazine since my first adventure into the wilderness in 1997. I haven't backpacked for over two years due to the back pain problem and it's pure torture to receive that magazine every month. But two years ago when I renewed my subscription I had no idea that it would become a source of such anguish. Now I glance through the pretty scenery pictures with envy. I skim through the latest reviews of the newest and best equipment with yearnings. Then I toss it on top of the giant tower of magazines that I think, by some miracle, will be useful someday.

The AARP newspaper and its companion Modern Maturity comes next. It's been arriving like clockwork since I passed that 50 year threshold. Oh yeah, I pay my dues so I can torment myself each month with this subscription. I settle into my relax-the-back antigravity chair and check out all the great things I have to look forward to. Things like diapers (not my grandsons), liquid food supplements, hearing aids, canes and wheel chairs. This one I toss into the recycle bin not wanting a tower of reminders about what will inevitably come.

The rest of the month will be a little less painful. I'll be reading Writers Digest (when I should be writing), The Sun (because it has good writing in it), More (because I am over 50), Prevention (so I can stay healthy), Weight Watchers (so I can stay slim), Viking (so I will be prepared to go to Norway someday) and Diablo (because it comes free).

Quarterly I'll be reading StoryCircle Journal (because I am an occasional contributor) and Calyx (because I want to be a contributor someday).

Perhaps I should cancel them all, publish my writing, retire, eat junk food, and use the money I save to go to Norway before I need Depends.

One of my (2 or 3?) readers remarked that she feels as though she is peeking in my personal journal if she reads this weblog. In all honesty, this weblog is merely an expression of some random slices of time, discovery or adventure that capture my attention at any given time. It’s the part of me that says I want to be one of those small dots in that wide world of weblogs that grows by the hundreds each day.

Believe me, you wouldn’t want to read my personal journal. It’s a brain dump of all my complaints, excuses, defects and pity-pot memories all kept in a secret, password protected file, destined for self-destruction on the day I die.

Other stuff I write might show up someday too. (You know, that novel I’ve been working on for years.) For those of you who stick with me through all my rambling, wanderings and wonderings perhaps someday you will be able to say, gee I knew her when she only wrote that crappy weblog. Oh yeah, dream on.

Corkscrews Anyone?

This guy collects corkscrews. He has so many he had to build a new house to contain his museum


I collect rubber bands. I don't buy them. They arrive free everyday with my newspaper. This ball contains many years of collecting. At lease I won't have to build a new house to contain my collection.

Oh yeah, and I'm addicted to Jelly Bellys

How Do You Spell Punxsutawney

Careful how you spell it. I typed Puxatony Phil into my search engine this morning and got a link to Crappers Quarterly. It did not reveal the current winter predictions.

I tried a few more spellings with similar results. Finally I gave up. I typed in Ground Hogs Day and find the official Groundhogs.com site which lead me to the official Punxsutawney Phil website.

Because I couldn't stop there, I had to search for Groundhog Graphics.

Okay, I'm off to enjoy our beautiful California sunshiny day in preparation for another six weeks of winter.

Ground Hogs

My oldest son will be 29 tomorrow, Ground Hogs Day. He will also be a father any day, could be a Ground Hog #2. Plans to give the kid his name too. Gosh, this is scary. Another gosh, I really am going to be a Grandma and I really am getting old. Bought more yarn today. Gonna sit back in my rocking chair, knit & watch Dr. Phil.

I wrote to Dr. Phil. Told him all about "Someone" I know who gambles too much. "Someone" refuses to go on the Dr. Phil show, but was amused that I actually wrote to Dr. Phil. In fact "Someone" is so amused that he takes great pleasure in letting everyone know my concern about his behavior. Anyway, I got an automatic email back from Dr. Phil thanking me for the suggestion and the usual "we'll let you know" language.

Oh yeah, I found out what a "meme" is at topical words. I guess it's not all about "me." Oops.