A Bed for SH

BREAKFAST:

“I think we should go out and get a bed for your room.”
SH shrugs his shoulders.
“We are going to have company. They wouldn’t want to sleep on that worn out twin sized futon.”
“Okay,” he says.
“There’s a sale at M********’s. That should be good enough.”
Another shrug.

AT M*********’s:

Feeling like we are about to be attacked by hungry vultures, I veer off toward the left side of the store as we come through the door, mostly because there were no salesmen over there so I deduct that was where the sale beds are. Also because when I glance down the row of luxury beds on the right side of the sales room I observe lady with” fifi” type dog curled up on fancy pillow topped bed. Hmmmmmm… wonder if the bed is for her or the dog.

Salesman J approaches, “Welcome to M**********’s. Looking for anything in particular?”

“Cheap,” I say.

“For you?” he asks.

“No for a guest room.” I figure I know the lines. If I say guest room the guy will show us the bottom of the line because we all know we don’t want to make the guests too comfortable. They might stay too long. (Note to the guest who is arriving in March…. This doesn’t mean you… you can stay as long as you can stand us).

“Well the most inexpensive ones on sale are this way.” J heads off toward a long steep staircase leading to an upper loft. We trod behind him, SH gasping for air as we get to the top. J points towards the ugliest bunk beds I’ve ever seen. “Here’s the bottom of the line,” he says. “Try it.

SH says, “Doesn’t matter. I can sleep in bathtub.”

J looks at him, “thought this was for guest room.”

I nudge SH, “Just try it.” I look at J, “Well actually it’s for the husband who snores too much…kind of a punishment type bed.” J nods in understanding. SH sits on edge of bed. The mattress sinks to the width of a cheap chaise lounge pad. He frowns. So much for the I can sleep anywhere attitude.

J points to next bed in line. “Try that one. Lay down on it. Feel free to spend some time there.”

I note that these mattresses are on platform bunk beds. SH is sinking to the bottom of the bed platform now, not willing or perhaps not able to scrunch his 6’2” frame into the lower bunk. “What about the box springs?” I ask.

“Oh you get those too, and a frame,” J assures me.

“Maybe we should go back downstairs,” I say.

So we go back to where we came in the door. J points to the medium priced beds. Tells SH to try them out. SH sinks into a medium firm pillow top. “This is good enough,” he says. I look at the price. OK I think… that’s enough for my budget.

Meanwhile I glance across the store to see lady with dog now trying luxurious top of the line mattresses. I’m wondering if she and sweatered dog are actually homeless people out for a quick nap. Suddenly I’m glad I’m not the one who must lie down and test bed.

“You did say it comes with frame right?” I ask J.

“Oh of course it does. How about a headboard to go with it?” he asks.

“Well we don’t need a headboard, do we J?”

“No you don’t have to have a headboard. That’s just a decorating thing. You could always add one later with a few screws.”

I think about that for a minute. No. I don’t think we need a headboard. Would have to have screws for that… oops enough said… not going there.