Falling

1. Step off curb, body pitches forward full speed.
2. Reach for head with right hand so hat won't fly off and reveal hat hair.
3. Stick left hand out in front so face doesn't skid across pavement.
4. Land on left hand and right knee.
5. Sit in middle of intersection thankful for the visual barricade of half a dozen ladies dressed in bright purple with red hats.
6. Assess within seconds that nothing is broken but pride.
7. Jump up and pretend everything is cool.
8. Limp 2 blocks to original lunch destination and collapse into chair.
9. Clean up and apply bandages assuring everyone all is okay.
9. Whisper to waiter that you could use a bag of ice.
10. Walk in front of everyone when leaving restaurant to hide pants now soaked by melted ice pack.
11. Insist that another two block walk won't be a problem and promise not to fall down again.
12. Try to figure out why right shoulder still has a kink three days later.

I'm fine. Really.

Being

Haven't gone anywhere. Just being.

Being a queen and red hatting all over the place.

Being a babysitter.

Being woken up at 6am on Sunday morning by sick uncle needing to go to hospital. He will be ok.

Showing up for work. Boss came in to work this morning. Said "I saw the worse movie ever." I said, "Don't tell me... I think I know... I saw it too." Yep he rented the same movie I rented this weekend. Two thumbs... no make that four thumbs down to I "heart" the Huckabees. Life's too short to waste on such drivel.

Hot Flash

Go see Menopause the Musical I saw it last April in Dallas. I saw it yesterday in San Francisco. Same show, different cast, both equally good. If you are nearing that time of your life, of even if you are not, you WILL enjoy the show. Of course I chose to see it with a few hundred of my red hat friends, all of who could relate to the subject matter. If you aren't 50ish, go anyway. Take your mother, aunt, grandmother. Take your husband/boyfriend... can't hurt to give him a new insight. It's fun and you will laugh.

RIP Norman

Norman - May 1991 to May 9, 2005

Happy Mothers Day

Fooled ya... this post is not about mother's day. It's about Grandma's attempts to find something to consume pent up "terrible two" energy so Mom can enjoy mother's day. What's wrong with this picture?

Notice how curious Rusty is about all these parts strewn across the living room floor.

Now notice how Rusty has disappeared.


Need I say more?

Beltane

and Happy May Day

3 Strikes

I'm OUT

Strike One:

I go to the bank with a deposit, wanting $100 cash back. The teller looks at me, looks at the check, looks at me again. "Do you have ID?" Note, I have banked at this bank for 30 some years. They never ask for my ID. I produce the ID. He looks at the ID, looks at me, looks at the ID again. Never mind that I have at least six times as much money in the bank as this deposit. He goes and gets his supervisor. She looks at the check, looks at me, looks at the ID, looks at me and at last mutters, "it's ok."

Strike Two:

I go to the drug store to pick up a prescription that I called the doctor about on Monday. Did they have it? Of course not. "You'll have to call the doctor," the clerk says. I ask if she would mind calling him. "It's not our policy," she says.

So I go home and call the doctor. "The pharmacy needs to fax the request," the receptionist tells me. I try to explain to her what the pharmacy told me. "Sorry, that's our policy" she says. "Have them fax it to us."

I politely explain that it is the policy of the pharmacy that the doctors office call them. I explain that I called them on Monday, that it has been five days, they did have my phone number, and on Monday I was assured that they would call me if there was a problem. Finally the receptionist relents and agrees to call the pharmacy. "Will that be today?" I ask. Silly question.

Strike Three:

The sun was out. I was working. Sitting here at kitchen table doing quarterly bookkeeping. Dreaming about being outside. Finishing up work. Thunder - lightning - wind - torrential rain. Uplugging and running on batteries. Better sign off before computer gets zapped.

The Critic Has Spoken

I don't have writer's block. I've been writing. But I've also been deleting. It seems to be one of those times when I make the effort, I get the words down on the screen, and my inner critic kicks in, "delete. delete. delete." So here it is, the first lines only... the inner critic has spoken

Never take a two year old hiking farther than you are capable of carrying him back... are you stupid or what?

I couldn't get out of bed Sunday morning because... who cares?

The new pope zings rats?... don't go there

I went to see Guantanomo Saturday night... too sad, too political, skip this one, there's not enough Kleenex

We are having a denial party so I just had to buy that pink hat with the extra wide brim... enough with the red hat tales

That uncomfortable feeling, the same uncomfortable feeling I felt 29 years ago when I took my son to a certain local nursery school, resurfaced when I took his son there for the open house this weekend... just don't go there

My youngest son turned 30, half the age of my husband... enough whining

Remember when April used to have Secretary's Day? Now it is Office Administrator Day... get with the times lady

We have a new parking attendant in front of our local drug store... be nice to him and write the story later

If my son's wife has a baby but it's not his and they are getting a divorce, does that make me a grandma again?... whoa, this is way too complicated

I should be knitting... good idea

Sometimes You Just Don't Know

I was out walking today, enjoying the bright high noon sunshine with a good friend. She had to make a stop and suggested we meet in front of a certain store. I told her, "fine but if that guy with the ************ is sitting on the bench in front of the store, I'll go inside and wait for you. I can't stand him."

You know how once in a while there comes along a person that makes you feel uncomfortable? Someone who makes you cross the street just so you don't have to be near them? Someone that perhaps you are not sure why you don't like them but there's just something about them that bugs you? Maybe it's his voice, his eyes, or just the way he moves or dresses. Maybe it's his job. Well, I'm not sure why but there was something about this guy that just bothered me.

Anyway, he wasn't there today so I waited by the door.

A few minutes later my friend comes out the other door. She waves, "come here there's something I need to show you." Next to the other door, where that guy always sat, was a memorial, a pile of flowers, his photo and some carefully placed mementos. He died last Friday.

Now I'm feeling bad. Really bad. A lot of people liked him... a lot.

Happy Birthday to Me

How I spent my weekend: Red Hatting of course. What better way to spend your birthday and why not spread it over 2 days??? I just had the greatest birthday. One of those birthdays that makes you feel like a kid all over again (and I didn't think you had those in the second half of your life). Don't think I'll want ice cream for a while now. Maybe not pizza or high tea either. I have the bestest friends ever!!!!!!

Gosh, I gotta do the grandma thing again. I think Daddy kind of likes his little one.